


I Fought the Law and the Law Lost

by ZettonLives



Category: Empress Theresa (Literature), Epithet Erased (Cartoon), Transformers (Bay Movies), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Barricade and Giovanni are basically dad to Molly, Comedy, Crossover, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Megatron is depressed AF, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:14:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 32,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22842331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZettonLives/pseuds/ZettonLives
Summary: It all started when way after the Fallen had been killed off. One minute, Barricade was struggling to survive when the Autobots essentially gained ownership of the Earth. The next, he's stuck in a whole new world where mere HUMANS have strange abilities that could threaten his very spark. Before long, he's found himself roped into a museum heist and finding a new purpose...one that gives him a chance to finally gain some agency in his life.Specifically, a purpose involving a gang (read: family) that includes a little girl, a soup-creating madman, an oversized minicon, and a Wild West obsessed rival.Inspired by not only both series in question, but this film analysis:https://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/4qm1ft/i_actually_kind_of_appreciate_the_transformers/
Relationships: Barricade/Zora Salazar, Blackout/Original Female Character(s), Megatron (Transformers)/Original Female Character(s), Megatron/Starscream (Transformers), Mera Salamin/Indus Tarbella, Molly Blyndeff & Barricade, Molly Blyndeff & Giovanni Potage, Molly Blyndeff/Ravage, Percival "Percy" King/Ramsey Murdoch
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. To Punish and Escape

_**Bliss Ocean' Base #245, Midnight...** _

Various mundies came in and out of this one facility located in [REDACTED, REDACTED], all eager to play their part in the organisation's wills for an epithet-less society. You know the story. Almost all of them, including a scant amount of epithet-users, were upset at the way things were, so they were intent on changing it. This base was special, however, as it was going to be the sight for a wholly new experiment. One that would turn the tide in the terrorist organisation's favor. 

Deep inside the dull-gray building, which was filled to the brim with large blank auditorium-style rooms and tunnel-like hallways, many scientists worked around the clock to make this dream a reality. So many calculations, theories on physics and metaphysics, the nature of this thing they called the 'multiverse', and other stuff. Stuff that would bore the average joe, but important stuff, nonetheless. 

Zora yawned loudly, staring through a peephole to get a good look at the security camera footage playing on the other side. With nothing much happening, she sighed and made her way towards one fo the hallways. "Ain't this somethin'? I get a call from the boss about a 'groundbreaking development' and what's in store for lil' ol' me? Nothin' but a bunch'a drop-dead boring-"

"Boring? Little lady, this is HISTORY!" The head of this base said in a raspy voice. 

"Ugh. It's you." She turned around to face him. When we said he was the 'head' of the base, we meant that in a literal AND figurative sense. He was basically a large bald head on a chair apparatus that carried him on a massive jetpack. "Headmaster. Nice to see you around these parts." She said behind thinly veiled sarcasm. 

He just chuckled. "Aw, the infamous Zora Salazar. One of the few epithet-users we'll allow into our revolutionary circle. It's so nice to see you people put in your rightful place, but my interests lie elsewhere." 

She clenched her fist at that. "I wouldn't be talkin' all smart like that, doc. If this goes without a hitch, we'll be ridin' towards the sunset of these things. Heck, I'm bankin' on givin' mine up once we-"

"Oh, please. Like you'd WILLINGLY give up the one thing that makes you special." He chuckled. "Without it, you're simply...quick, shoot me!"

"Really?! I mean...you sure about that, partner?" She smirked, aiming one of her revolvers at him. 

Headmaster floated there for a second before his expression darkened. "Are you sure you can do it without that power of yours? Even damage me a little?" 

BANG! She took the shot, but the bullet bounced against nothing. He gave a dark laugh as she began to fire a few more shots, but they just kept bouncing off. "The hell?! I thought you didn't have one of 'em epi-"

"Wrong again." He spun around. "Pure technology has granted me the ability to stop any threat using my mind alone."

Her eyes narrowed. "You realize I ain't lookin' to start a fight...'less you wanna take this outside with no witnesses. Besides, where're you goin' with this?"

Headmaster slammed his finger onto a nearby screen. "THIS is what technology will bring us! Total victory!" What they were constructing, based on the images, was a large circular device that crackled with eldritch power. "From the hands of us mundies, we may have unlocked the secret to whether or not there is something beyond the veil of our universe. We will use it to gather resources or even recruit beings with much greater usefulness than the both of us!"

The cowgirl scoffed. "Doubt that they've got what it takes to get the best of me."

"They will. Just wait until we decide to rid you of your epithet. Then, we'll truly see just how 'useful' you are." He laughed before floating away, eager to see the fruits of his labor activate. It was almost time, after all.

Zora stood for a while before slamming a fist into a wall, aging it until the cracked area around it crumbled. That didn't brighten her mood, as she spat onto the ground. "Just you wait, ya' scoundrel. I don't need no stinkin' epithet to make yer' life a livin' nightmare when yer back's turned."

_A few hours later..._

Headmaster watched eagerly as the machine, the Nexus Project, was activated. It had only taken a few orders from him to get those scientists to finally test out their brand new tool. "Soon...soon the whole world shall tremble at the tide that Bliss Ocean will bring." He chuckled. "And perhaps...I'll be the one on top for my discovery. Not the boss. Not anyone else. Just me. Just wanted to make that clear."

"Who are you talking to sir?" A random mook asked before he was telekinectically grabbed and thrown into a wall, severely damaging him.

"Don't interrupt my moment." He growled before returning to his observations. The ring-like contraption was shaking violently as that energy crackled all around the extremely wide white room. Bolts hit the walls, leaving scorch-marks. The whole place was starting to tremble as whatever energy they put into this thing seemed to tap within the walls of the multiverse itself. Whatever they had gotten their hands on, none can say (for now?).

"HOORAY FOR SCIENCE!" A random scientist exclaimed before being vaporized by a bolt.

"HOORAY FOR BEING ON THE SAFE SIDE OF THE GLASS...moron." Another scientist yelled as he stood with his colleagues. 

Suddenly, a massive beam of light descended through the ceiling and up through the many floors, striking many unfortunate souls and rocking the building to its core. The blast hit the stormy night skies, illuminating that one area as bolts of more energy spread far out, doing their own thing, but fading into nothing (or perhaps just out of sight) in no time at all. It was all over as soon as it began, roughly speaking.

Everybody stared at the smoke and crackling volts emanating from the ruined machine. When it finally cleared, all they saw was a Saleen S281 Police Cruiser in the middle, crackling with that same energy before it vanished. "...that's it?" A scientist spoke up after some silence.

"Whoo! Free car!" Another yelled before stepping in. "This one's kind of an antique. I mean, who uses one of these models?"

"ENOUGH!" Headmaster's voice yelled out over the intercom. "What matters is that our experiment worked. We'll just to rebuild from scratch." He growled that last bit. "Took us forever to get the materials and funding for it, but we'll manage." He considered the mass layoffs that would occur because of that and he didn't bat an eye. "Nevertheless, take the car in. It still counts as evidence for our success. Headmaster, out!" With that, he floated somewhere else, presumably to grumble about the disappointing gift the experiment had bestowed upon them. 

The scientists all just shrugged their shoulders and started to crowd around the empty vehicle. It was slightly banged up in a few areas, not to mention it had the words _'To Punish and Enslave'_ written on the side, but nothing out of the ordinary. However, one of the scientists just so happened to have a gieger counter on him just in case. When he used it, it was starting to make the traditional noise. "Interesting. I'm detecting faint levels of radiation, but...something's not quite right."

"Who cares?" The obnoxious scientist from earlier (pick one, honestly), jumped in, grabbed the steering wheel, and honked the horn. "Look at me! I'm a servant of the status quo! I'm gonna punish us mundies for just wanting some fairness in their lives! Beep, bee-"

He never got to finish that sentence. The car suddenly backed up, causing him to slam into the wheel. The doors opened and he fell out, leaving him open for the cruiser to suddenly move forward and run him over. It began to back up and go forward again and again as if it were confused about where it was. The others panicked as, even in a world as bizarre as their own, cars didn't just spring to life and have their first action to be claiming a life. It didn't help at least three of them had watched _'The Car'_ before this. 

The cruiser stopped, looking at the confused and bewildered scientists looking through the glass. Headlights turning on, it zoomed towards the only possible exit, forcing them all to flee as it barreled through the glass, shattering it with ease and leaving it to drive away to freedom. "Security! SECURITY! We have a problem!" One of them shouted into the intercom to anybody who would listen. "We have an escaped subject on the loose!"

"Hey, I'm okay! Thanks for NOT asking." That run-over scientist muttered. "We deserve to lose."

_Several minutes later..._

Zora was resting against the wall of one of the many hallways, chewing on a hayseed to pass the time when the alarms suddenly went off. "What in tarnation?" She stood up, seeing a lot of scientists run for their lives. She extended a foot, tripping one of them. "Hey. Ya' mind expainin' what exactly's goin' down?"

He stood up, fumbling with his glasses. "It's the experiment! It brought back a car, but something's not right! It's...I think it's trying to escape!"

"Bottom line, there's somethin' for me to shoot." She finished for him, to which he nodded. "Where to?" 

_About a minute later..._

Zora stepped into a round space in the middle of the hallway to the first floor. If the words of the panicking scientists were to be believed, that car was making a beeline for the exit. "If I had a watch, I'd be checkin' it so condescendingly. As a matter of face, why imagine?" She smirked as she created on of her sundials, choosing to age a desk plant nearby. It ticked slowly on her accord, but then she heard the sound of screeching tires and an extremely loud police siren. 

The car was rushing through the halls and rushing towards her fast. She didn't flinch as it smashed through several obstacles, including a random fruit stand an employee had placed (because cliches were apparently encouraged around here). She just got out one of her custom-made guns and aimed it. "Your move, creep." She joked before taking the shot, hitting one of the cruiser's tires. The vehicle began to swerve until it was just a foot away from her. 

She blew the smoke off of her gun and walked towards the downed vehicle. "That there's a damn shame. So close to the finish line and you end up gettin' pulled over by the one sheriff around these parts." She twirled her guns before aiming them at the possible driver...only to see none there. "Alright. I'll bite. What secrets are ya'-WHOA!" 

All the sudden, one of the headlights extended like a pole with the light and various sharp bits of metal around it. She fell onto her back before getting up and shooting out the light. "Thinkin' of gettin' the best of me? Keep dreamin'. Ain't nothin' else gonna surprise me today!"

 **"BARRICADE** _**TRANSFORM!"** _

She wasn't prepared when the car suddenly started to quickly shift around its parts, confusing her to no end. What exactly what this average ordinary vehicle doing NOW, aside from drive it's own damn self? The parts started to shift into a much more humanoid hunched figure, the car parts coming together like a demented set of clothes. Before she knew it, a large mechanical monster straight out of a gearhead's wet dream was looming over her, his four red optics gazing at her with hate and his monstrous face exuding a threatening bellow. 

"Huh. Guess yer more than meets the eye." She crossed her arms as the robot stared her down. 

_**Mission City, 2009..** _

He could hear the blaster-fire get closer and closer, no matter how far he went into the abandoned parking building. Surrounded by so many normal Earth-based vehicles, it felt like there were a hundred eyes on him as he drove as fast as he could towards safety, wherever that may be. If he didn't find somewhere to lay low until the heat died down, he was sure to meet a final grisly end at the blasters of that DAMNED yellow pipsqueak!

Barricade continued to drive up the building through the many floors, some of the headlights from the parked cars going off and letting out audio-receptor splitting honks. Was this their way of taunting him?! The humans (or N.E.S.T, or whatever they were calling themselves) must have been getting on the same nigh-sadistic level as the so-called 'heroes'. The Autobots...they weren't kidding around when he heard news of what N.E.S.T has been up to. So many scores of Decepticons dead...torn apart...mangled and blown to pieces...and he was about to join them. No prisoners of war. Just bodies and the outright genocide of half of their already dying race. 

Hitting the gas, he drove even faster, but a familiar horn-honk made him go so fast that he almost burnt the rubber off of his wheels. Bumblebee AND Ironhide were on his trail. One wrong move and he was either going to have his head stabbed and torn in half or, maybe, just get shot through the chest by Ironhide and THEN they tear him apart. He was well aware of their savagery. He couldn't emphasize that enough.

"Scrap, scrap, SCRAP!" His holographic driver growled in his voice. The end of the road was upon him as he approached the top of the parking building. Swerving around, he turned to see Bumblebee zoom out. 

**"Bumblebee, _TRANSFORM!"_** Wait, didn't his voice processor get repaired? Why was he still speaking in stock phrases? Didn't matter. Barricade was effectively cornered as the scout transformed into his robot mode, aiming his 'stingers' at him. Backing up, he found his wheels nearing the edge of the roof. They were really going to take their time with him, weren't they? Bumblebee was just a random scout he had to deal with. Now, the yellow bot seemed like he had a score to settle. What? Because he had to show mercy in front of those pitiful insects? That he didn't get to tear him apart before then when he had the chance back when he first met Ladiesman217?

 **"Ironhide,** ** _TRANSFORM!"_** Aw, great. He also wanted a go at him. The lumbering giant of an Autobot aimed his blasters as well. Were they waiting for the Decepticon to transform just so they could see his terrified expression before they executed him? "My friend here has been waiting for this for a very long time. Why not oblige him and fight like a Cybertronian?" 

"Now, you f$*#ed up!" Bumblebee pointed at him, stealing yet another quote. 

Barricade growled at them, gunning his engine for emphasis. "Why can't you auto-jackoffs leave me alone?! The war is lost! You won fair and square! The Allspark is gone, too. As in, the one thing that was going to save us all before you screwed THAT one up royally? What else do we have to lose by letting me go? All I want is to be left alone!" 

"Begging for mercy? Hmph. Decepticon punk." Ironhide replied, once again using that line before taking aim for real. 

A number of thoughts ran through Barricade's head. Of what could have been. Of memories before the war. Of how screwed up his soon-to-be-ended life had become since arriving on this Fallen-forsaken planet. But one stood above all the rest in the name of precious survival. What would Megatron do? Or, maybe what would FRENZY do? If they were both alive, that is. The answer might surprise you.

Taking a deep breath, he concentrated enough to make his holo-drive flip them the double-bird before he backed up all the way off the roof. They seemed genuinely shocked he took that option and, once the adrenaline-like energon flow stopped, he realized that he didn't think this through. He was either going to be so busted up that they'd finish the job when he landed or he'd just die right then and there. 

He tried to transform. Surely, he would land on his feet and he'd make yet another getaway! If he could just-

**BZIT!**

_**Present...** _

Honestly, he didn't know WHAT was happening right now. One minute, he was there. The next, he was in an actual human base. That could only mean either government agents that couldn't wait to dissect him and/or an Autobot stronghold. He wasn't willing to find out which, intent on just escaping and waiting until he was certain of his safety. This place had offered so little resistance that he honestly thought that he had something of a big break, bizarre as it was.

And then this...HUMAN shoots him in the tire and didn't even flinch when he got extra close to her! His robot mode was also only phasing her slightly, angering him more. "Out of the way!" He roared before she suddenly zoomed to the side and fired many bullets at random. He ignored her, intent on leaving this brazen human behind...only for a large metal door to slam down from the ceiling, trapping him inside. Even worse, he noticed various bullets floating in mid-air all directed at him. "What the...AHHH!" He covered his face as those bullets suddenly came at him at high speed, hitting various vulnerable areas on him.

He turned to her after he had been forced onto his knees, growling at his assailant and slamming his arm down. "What do we have here?" She spoke in a sickeningly smug tone that grated on his nerves already. Who was this Earth-based femme and what the ever-loving FRAG was happening?! "We really did nab ourselves a spaceman." She leaned in, not even backing away when he snapped his jaws at her. "One whole herd of ugly, I'll say."

Barricade hardly wanted to speak to somebody coming wide with him this much, but he needed answers. "Are you in any way, shape, or form affiliated with N.E.S.T or any of its Autobots/human resources?!" 

"Say what now?"

"ARE YOU AFFILIATED WITH N.E.S.T AND THE AUTOBOTS?!" He yelled in a manner reminiscent of that moment where he 'interrogated' that repulsive Witwickey man. Good times, in hindsight. 

He was silenced when she slammed the butt of her pistol against his face. "Quit murderin' my eardrums and let me do the questions. Then again, that's a bunch of borin' hullabaloo! I betcha' it'll take forever for those bigwigs to get in here and haul yer' metal ass off. Tell you what?" She jumped back, allowing him to stand up and regain at least a fraction of his pride back. "Lemme ask you somethin', spaceman. You know what an epithet is?"

He titled his head before growling again. "Yes. And for yours, I'll carve 'Scrapped for thinking she could step up to me'!" He got out his spiked mace, swinging it like a demonic yo-yo. 

Zora just laughed. "You really think so? Golly, you really ain't from around here! Lemme show ya'." She conjured up a golden sundial in front of him.

As it glowed brightly and before he could swing at her, Barricade felt his spark start to flicker instead of shine. He fell to his knees again, clutching his chest as he felt his spark physically age. "Grrrk...what...are you doing...NO!" As soon as he fell onto the ground on his chassis, he felt back to his old self again. "What the..."

"Hate to say it, but I kinda need you in prime condition. At least, on the inside." She remarked. "Congrats. You get to remain a spring-chicken. Or whatever the hell you are."

Every instinct in Barricade's central processor screamed at him to reduce this creature to a reddened stain on the metal beneath him. Instead, he began to walk slowly around her, his optics not letting her out of sight. "Alright...human. I surrender." He held up his arms as he lied. "Now, indulge me. Just where in the name of Kaon am I?"

"Can't say." She leaned against the wall, anticipating that the both of them were going to be waiting here for a LONG time before security got in. The hallways were just that long. "But consider yerself branded, 'cuz yer' now our property. Hope you didn't have any plans before we plucked you from whatever homestead you crawled out of."

Rather than get angry (like he was so tempted to do), he titled his head. "So...this isn't Earth? And, if not, do all of you humans talk like this?"

Zora fired a warning shot near his cheek. "You watch yerself, boy. But, to answer yer question, yup and nope. Welcome to a whole new Earth. One where yer luck may have just run out. After all..." She twirled her guns. "Yer locked in a room with only my hospitality keepin' you from endin' up as just another hunk'a'junk."

Barricade's optics widened. That portal that he fell into...another Earth...the fact that this woman clearly had strange powers that weren't present in this race of insects before...did he just land in an alternate universe?! He wasn't the most well-educated Cybertronian, but what else could it be?! _'No. Play it cool. You can still swing this.'_ That's when he let out a horribly metallic laugh. "I'M locked in here with you? Do you have any idea who I am?" He stood tall, flexing his claws. "I've fought in more wars than you can count. I've killed scores of my own brothers and sisters just to survive. And you know something else?" He leaned in. "I didn't need some freakish power over the very SPARKS of my enemies."

Her eye actually twitched at that. "I see what yer' tryin' to do. You think you've got me all figured out like a book. Well, credit where credit's due, yer kinda right. This power I've got...I hate it. Hate it to holy hell." She aimed both of her guns at him now. "How's about I rough you up without any epithets and leave you for the head honcho to pick apart what's left?"

He was well aware of how dangerous those weapons were, despite them being so tiny, so he just crouched as he prepared to leap into battle. "You know...that outfit, your voice, and this whole showdown thing...kinda reminds me of this drive-in movie I ended up stumbling into when I first took on my disguise. The part where two enemies stare each-other down in a dingy little human settlement."

_**<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mj_hApbc5qg> ** _

Her smug smile returned as she reloaded her pistols and put the guns back in her belt. "Oh, yeah. Guess yer not as dumb as I thought. 'member what at least one of those fellers said?"

He gave his own smirk as he unsheathed a blaster from his chest compartment and clenched it against his hip. "It's high noon. So, who's the human upstart I'm going to be atomizing?"

"Zora. Zora Salazar. You, spaceman?" 

"Barricade. Just Barricade."

"Subtle. Now..." She got closer, as did he, until they were staring each-other down again. "Ten paces. Then fire away. Got it, ar?"

Despite the absurdity of actually acquiescing to this human's demands of what a 'battle' was, he nodded. Besides, for once, he wasn't dealing with some deranged Autobot or rogue Decepticon or whatever. It was a surprisingly pleasant change of pace. He did as instructed, moving slowly, but prepared to throw his mace with the other hand to trip her. Hey, he was a pragmatic sort of fighter. The first chance he got to crush this admittedly brave human/book it, the better. Some lyrics had even started up as he glanced as his weapons just as she did. (Corresponding to the text above, that is).

_I am the shadow...and the smoke in your eyes. I am the ghost that hides in the night._

That's when they both noticed the metal walls start to cave in on themselves. Almost as if another force was bending them from the outside. "Aw, hell...just when we were about to get started. You may wanna...step on back. Things are 'bout to get wild." 

"How so? Another human with powers?" He growled, but he also noticed how the other door was being affected...hmmm...

"If you can even call the sonuvabitch human anymore." She remarked before KABOOM! The walls exploded, pushing the two fighters against the other wall and breaking it down.

During the instrumental part, Barricade took the chance to crawl out of the way. _**"Transform!"**_ He shouted before he turned into his police cruiser mode and peeled out. 

_Boom-Lay! Boom-Lay! BOOM! Boom-Lay! Boom-Lay! BOOM! Boom-Lay! Boom-Lay! BOOM! Boom-Lay! Boom-Lay...BOOM!_

As he drove across the final few hallways, his rearview mirror caught a glimpse of what exactly was chasing him now. It was Headmaster, who's eyes were glowing with psychic energy as he leveled them at the car. "You cannot escape, specimen! You will become my greatest experiment when this is over! SCIENCE!"

"Hooraaaay." Zora sarcastically moaned as she took several half-hearted potshots at the Decepticon. Just when she thought she was going to get herself a worthy battle. If the first oppertunity both she and Barricade could ditch this mad doctor, she'd take it just to have that duel she got briefly hyped for. 

As for Barricade, he continued to swerve around to make hitting him harder, while also blaring his siren to get any obstacles (read: unlucky visitors and any more of those damned fruit stands) out of the way. He even transformed one of his car doors (particularity the one around his blown-out wheel) to fire back, but they just deflected off of Headmaster's shield. "Where else do you have to do? This whole place is several miles above sea-level! One wrong fall and you'll crash into the water below!" He cackled.

_Wait! Wait a minute, take a step back! You gotta think twice before you react, so stay! Stay a little while! Because a Promise not kept is the road to exile! HEY! What's the circumstance? You'll never be great without taking a chance, so wait! You waited too long. Had your hands in your pocket when you shoulda been gone!_

He drove close to the windows as he neared the exit elevator. He had to think really fast if he was going to ditch this whole place. That's when he saw various large heli-carriers lifting up crates of fruit around the oval-shaped skyscraper-like base. "Hey! Zora!" He called out as he avoided a massive blast that scratched his paint-job. "Get ready to see how I REALLY roll!" To the surprise of his assailants, he braked and backed up next to one of the windows.

_Boom-Lay! Boom-Lay! BOOM! One push is all you'll need! Boom-Lay! Boom-Lay! BOOM! A fist-first philosophy! Boom-Lay! Boom-Lay! BOOM! We watch with wounded eyes! Boom-Lay! Boom-Lay! BOOM! So I hope you recognize..._

Shattering through another window (that outta be a new Decepticon record), he sailed through the air for a brief moment before gravity finally came to his aid and helped him land on one of the heli-carriers. The impact caused the thing to start to lose altitude, but he just kept speeding along, using the almost straight-line of aircrafts as a series of platforms for him to make his daring escape, smashing the blades with his half-transformed arm if need be. Finally, he zoomed off the final one to reach a pier, nearly splintering the wood as he sped along it. "HAH! They outta just rename me Getaway. Then again, that exhaust-port of an Autobot already got-OW!"

_I'm on the front line! Don't worry I'll be fine! The story is just beginning! I say goodbye to my weakness! So long to the regret! And now I see the world through diamond eyes!_

Headmaster rammed into his side, Zora having to hold on for dear life as the living head skyrocketed the car into the base containing the rest of the heli-carriers (odd, considering they were at a pier, but tell that to Bliss Ocean's boss and see what happens). Hastily transfoming, he regained his balance and grabbed the head when he tried that a second time. Roaring loudly, he slammed the head into one of the heli-carriers, blowing it up, but that still didn't stop him from getting a psychic blast to the chest, sending him into a crane nearby. 

"Assist me, Ms. Salazar! I wish to utterly crush this weakling of an alien!" Headmaster shouted, even as Zora just watched the events disinterestedly. That is, until Barricade's mace emerged from the smoke and straight at him. "Haha! FOOL! I can block-"

_Damn! Damn it all down! Took one to the chest without even a sound, so WHAT?! What are you worth? The things you love or the people you hurt? Hey! It's like deja vu! A suicidal maniac with nothing to lose, so wait! It's the exception to the rule. Everyone of us is expendable._

The chain wrapped around the floating one, even as he put up his shield. He began to swing him like a professional hammer tosser. "AAAAAAAH! I DO BELIEVE I'M GOING TO BE SICK!" Finally, Barricade sung the chain down on an explosive barrel or two, blowing them up near that same crane and causing it to crash into him, burying his foe. That's when the Decepticon's attention turned to Zora. 

_Boom-Lay! Boom-Lay! BOOM! One push is all you'll need! Boom-Lay! Boom-Lay! BOOM! A fist-first philosophy! Boom-Lay! Boom-Lay! BOOM! We watch with wounded eyes! Boom-Lay! Boom-Lay! BOOM! So I hope you recognize..._

Instantly, the two of them began to fire upon each-other, running through the place and using various objects, such as heli-carriers, as cover. Both had their own advantages, Zora used her speed and various richocheting bullets to torment the larger Decepticon, but he had laser-fire on his side, making his shots faster and more destructive. Eventually, he just rushed at her, screaming in rage before she had time to react. "Holy-"

_I'm on the front line! Don't worry I'll be fine! The story is just beginning! I say goodbye to my weakness! So long to the regret! And now I know that I'm alive!_

He grabbed her in his claw before throwing her at a heli-carrier and leaving a sizable dent. That's when he got out his mace and swung it at her, only for it to stop in mid-air. "What?!" He yelled before she unloaded an entire clip that began to eat away at his spark. Dropping the mace and backing away with each bullet, he finally fell onto his back. 

_I'm on the front line! Don't worry I'll be fine! The story is just beginning! I say goodbye to my weakness! So long to the regret! And now I see the world through diamond eyes!_

As he laid there in great agony, she stomped onto his chest and aimed her pistol at his face. "End of the line, bot-boy." He swore those markings on her eyes glowed as she readied the kill. "Last words...?" 

He spat at her with disgusting green fluids splattering a bit around her outfit. "Hypocrite. You promise a fair fight and you fail to deliver...what else can I expect from somebody who pretends to have any sort of honor? I've been there before." As he kind of expected, he began to feel much better, his spark reverting to its original age, but still bearing the marks of the battle.

_Oooooooo... ooooooOOooooOOooooooo..._

She lowered her hat as she got out a very special gun. One that wasn't golden-colored and brand new like the others, but one that was rusted and antiquated with the words 'No More' on them with a heart symbol next to it. "Fine. DRAW. It ain't my fault I gotta be reminded every-time that people think I'm...not good enough without my epithet. But that's what they say before they learn better! THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY! I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU, COWBOY! **_THIS AIN'T GONNA END ANY DIFFERENT!"_**

"THEN SHOW ME!" He whipped out his blaster.

_Every night of my life, I watch angels fall from the sky. Every time that the sun still sets, I pray they don't take miiiiiiine!_

The instrumentals went out of control as they shot at each-other while moving in direct tandem with themselves. Each shot they fired connected, her bullets suddenly being able to disperse the laser-blsats with each shot. There was a fire in her eyes as she tanked every shot he gave, yet he returned it with his own tenacity, even doing some combat rolls to throw her off, to which she did the same. They jumped in the air to throw each-other off, but their shots still connected until they did it a second time, where their guns connected and, once they fired, created a mutual blast that pushed them both back. 

They were now on the ground and hoisting themselves up while staring at each-other before the lyrics returned. "See? There's what I want to see. A human that truly can step up without Autubots or epithets or whatever."

"And this is what I wanna see. Someone that, let's be honest, makes me feel alive." Zora couldn't believe the rush she got from that tussle. She got to be herself, while, in his central processor, he got to show his mettle without getting grievously injured. 

A moment of silence came over the two of them as they raised their guns another time...

_I'm on the front line. Don't worry I'll be fine. The story is just beginning. I say goodbye to my weakness. So long to regret..._

Headmaster exploded from his wreckage-prison, screaming in absolute fury as psychic energy crackled around him, the purple volts grabbing around Barricade and causing his circuits to nearly fry. He was slammed side to side and up and down, without any sort of mercy. "HEY! You stay out of-" Zora was smacked to the side by another psychic bolt.

"NO! I will not be denied what I deserve because of your antiquated code OR A GODDAMN ALIEN!" He yelled as he held Barricade to his maddened face. "What's the matter?! GOT NO MORE TRICKS?!"

"Yeah! My two boys!"

_I'm on the front line! Don't worry I'll be fine! The story is just beginning! I say goodbye to my weakness! So long to the regret! And now I know that I'm alive!_

Raising his fists to suddenly reveal a pair of fisticuffs dubbed "Punish" and "Protect", he slammed them both against the psychic shield at a rapid pace, even as he was held into the air and he could feel his limbs being pulled like the a sadistic child does a bug. "Hehehahaahahaha! Do you really think mere FISTS can break through my shield?!" Suddenly, his shield began to flicker, even as he slammed the Decepticon against one of the ruined heli-carriers, puncturing his back with scrap metal. "What?! My tech!"

Zora, grasping her head from the impact dealt to her, winked at the groaning Barricade after she had fired her epithet-infused bullet to age-up Headmaster's tech. "Figured I owed ya' one." She said, remembering how she broke the rules earlier. She then had to duck from an incoming pillar of metal that the madman threw at her.

_I'm on the front line! Don't worry I'll be fine! The story is just beginning! I say goodbye to my weakness! So long to the regret! And now I see the world through diamond eyes!_

Grabbing his mace by the end of it, Barricade rushed through an incoming hail of telekinectically thrown objects, even jumping through two heli-carriers that almost sandwiched him, he slammed the hard end of the mace against the fading field. "NO! If my body should rupture-"

"Get ready to learn the science of pain!" He slammed it again with his weapon, shattering the field and ramming it into his forehead, revealing circuitry beneath. Beams of purple light emanated from the freakish braniac, who let out a horrifying digitized scream as the energy within his body began to expel outward. 

_I'm on the front line! Don't worry I'll be fine! The story is just beginning! I say goodbye to my weakness! So long to the regret! And now I see the world through diamond eyeeeeeeeeeeees!_

Barricade shielded his optics as the man's body (if you could call it that) continued to emanate light, creating many shockwaves that pushed him down and forced Zora to hold onto a hunk of metal for support. Eventually, laser blasts began to fired at random, preventing him from making a real escape. "Aw, no..." The Decepticon muttered before the man finally exploded into nuts, bolts, and purple energy. An explosion that sent him flying over the horizon and sent Zora straight into a wall.

_Boom-Lay! Boom-Lay! BOOM! Boom-Lay! Boom-Lay! BOOM! Boom-Lay! Boom-Lay! BOOM! Boom-Lay! Boom-Lay! BOOM! Boom-Lay! Boom-Lay! BOOM! Boom-Lay! Boom-Lay! BOOM! Boom-Lay! Boom-Lay! BOOM! Boom-Lay! Boom-Lay! BOOM!_

When all settled and various operatives of Blizz Ocean moved in, Zora was losing consciousness from the whole experience, but she just kept her smirk on. "Happy trails, Barricade." She said softly. "Can't promise we won't meet again...and I won't be holdin' back no more..." With that, she allowed herself to get some much-needed rest as her robot-girl partner landed, letting out a giggle at her failure.

_Several hours later before morning..._

In one of the dark alleyways, a dumpster found itself having a new occupant. Namely, a giant robot that crushed it the moment it landed on top. Barricade couldn't believe his own luck as he laid on the trash/metal heap, looking around in confusion before giving a dark chuckle. "Can't you stay out of trouble?" He told himself. "Just my luck." Stepping out slowly, he knew he needed some rest before going into possible stasis lock. 

_"Transform."_ He said quietly, turning into his dented-up police-cruiser mode. Despite having a blown-out tire and all the injuries he had sustained, he still managed to boot up his holo-driver and enter his new destination for real. He scanned for any signs to explain to him what human hellscape he had arrived in this time. "Sweet Jazz City? Gah. I swear, if that ankle-biter somehow survived and they named a city after him like that, I'm going to cut off my own head with a fork."

He drove deeper into the city, having nothing better to do but do some recon. The Decepticon cause, at least to him, was good and gone, but that's a story for a later time. He would eventually just rest easy after not getting very far through the streets and settle near one of the harmless-looking buildings. A museum, to be precise. It looked closed, so why even bother? 

Slowly, he allowed himself to enter stasis mode. Given enough rest, he considered that he might be able to confront what exactly was going on and if-

"Go, my minions! Before we are to purge this establishment of ALL of it's treasures, let's break the long arm of the law one worthless car at a time! And I believe THIS is a perfect place to start!"

".....frag my life." He muttered.


	2. Decepticons Disassembled

_**"Epithet Erased...frag my life. Just frag it all."** _

_**Barricade** _

**_Epithet: None (Transforms into a cop car)_ **

_*** Decepticon Enforcer** _

_*** Plays "Bad Cop, Even Worse Cop" on the regular** _

_*** Having a really bad day right now** _

_**Pacific Ocean, 2009** _

Blackout's one working optic kept staring at the submarine wreckage in front of it as yet another starfish decided to make its home on his face. This was all he had left to remind him that his master, Megatron, was alive. But...why didn't he come for him? Why didn't those Constructicons rescue him as well as the other ruined Decepticons?! Unlike them, he was alive! Amazingly, that is. 

True, no-one would really expect him to be alive. Not since those humans shot him in all of his weak-points, including right in the spike (don't ask). For a while, it seemed like he had gone offline, falling to the ground with his last thoughts being _'I failed'_ . Blackout didn't have much in the way of pride, but his loyalty to Megatron was absolute. To fail him in battle was enough to make him wish those humans went for his head a bit more thoroughly than the slapdash LUCKY hits they got on him. 

And here he was. Trapped at the bottom of the ocean with the remains of Brawl and Bonecrusher. Why Barricade wasn't with him probably indicated he and Starscream survived. For their sake, he hoped they had remained loyal or they were going to fell the full fury of a resurrected Megatron. He should have been proud! Elated! His beloved master was back from the grave and was going to finally take down those meddlesome Autobots once and for all! Cybertron would no longer have to worry about their constant need to validate themselves after they lost the Great War!

But no. Megatron just left. The Constructicons just left. That infernal Soundwave's minicon had left. The only one he was glad had left was Scapel. Nobody liked Scapel and his idea of 'surgery'. He, of course, justified it with time being of the essence. If the Allspark was in Autobot hands, they could destroy the thing out of spite by shoving it into Optimus' chest or whatever their plan was. That would mean the end to all Transformers! He HAD to join his master with that thought in mind! For the Decepticons! For Grindor! For Scorpinok! For Cybertron! For Megatron!

But thoughts weren't going to release him from his own watery grave. All he could do now was rest for a bit longer and pray that they all didn't really decide to leave him for dead. That's when he remembered something his carrier once said. That miracles are real, but the best one are those you have to work for. That's what he would do. One little bit at a time, he would free himself and swim to the surface. Even if it took him a thousand years or even resulted in him being permanently offlined, he would do whatever it took-

**BZIT!**

_**Egypt, 2009...** _

_\---MISSION: ENSURE VICTORY FOR THE FALLEN--_

_\---ALREADY IN PROGRESS---_

_\---DELIVERY OF WHITWICKEY SIRE AND CARRIER COMPLETE---_

_\---ALLY: RAMPAGE. STATUS: IN BATTLE WITH AUTOBOT BUMBLEBEE---_

_\---RIP. TEAR. ALL HAIL SOUNDWAVE---_

_\---SOUNDWAVE IS LAW. SOUNDWAVE IS LIFE---_

_\---FAILURE TO COMPLETE WILL MEAN INSTANT SUICIDE---_

_\---ENGAGING BUMBLEBEE. STEALTH HIGHLY RECOMMENDED---_

_\---ATTACK. RIP. TEAR. DAMAGE FACE. INSERT SOUNDWAVE LAUGH HERE---_

_\---WARNING: HOSTILE HAS NOTICED. BUMBLBUMBEBIHDSJL---_

"NO!"

_\---DAMAGE TO SPINESPINESPINESPINESPINE---_

"What's happening?! Let me go!"

"Kill him, Bee...kill him!" 

_\---SOUNDWAVE IS SHUTTING OFF LINK. THIS MINICON IS OF NOMOREMONOENRESFKSJFLKSFSJFJGOIIOAJDJF---NO--MORE---USE---_

"SOMEBODY HELP MEAAAUGH-"

**BZIT!**

_**Kenya, 2010...** _

The animals that called these plains home, if they could talk, would have raised a fuss with much more colorful language if they had to deal with the massive jet flying low every single day. It had been at least a year or so since the strange invader had started patrolling the skies, often accompanied by a larger and more terrifying beast of metal. The elephants, in particular, made their disstate even clearer. The moment that jet was coming around, the Matriarch actually managed to spray some mud into the air...

...and right into Starscream's face before he was forced to land. "BLECH! **STARSCREAM _TRANSFORM!"_** He yelled before landing without much dignity into the Decepticon hiding spot. Then again, one would be hard-pressed to call it a 'hiding spot', given that it was a bunch of barrels and torn fabric out in the open. How nobody was able to find them was a ringing indictment on how dependent humanity was on the Autobots nowadays. 

"Master! Where is our master?!" That repulsive somehow-sentient head, Igor, demanded, running up to the downed and dirty Decepticon. 

"Pleasant flight, Starscream?" Soundwave walked in, looking quite pristine next to his compatriots as always. Oh, how Starscream hated that Autobot-turned-Decepticon. He knew they needed all the help they could get, but hiring this psychopath? Even Rampage was more comforting to hang around and he was illiterate and dead to boot!

The Seeker growled, crouching down to feast on some meager bits of Energon his master had left behind. "No. I haven't been able to locate Megatron for many solar cycles! Without him, that Ark plan is completely useless!"

Suddenly, the extension of Soundwave's sadism, Laserbeak, flew in, making sure to reduce a vulture to giblets. "Whine, whine, whine...that's all you do! Any minute now, the humans will discover the Ark and, when Sentinel Prime awakens, we can continue it with or without that rusty fool."

Out of anger, Starscream aimed one of his machine gun attachments at the smaller and easily-breakable spy. "You watch your vocal processor! With Megatron gone, I'M effectively in charge and I say that we find him! Do you bolt-heads have anything better to do other than waste your time crushing these human bugs?"

"It is you who is wasting our time." Soundwave pointed at the Seeker's bird-like face. "We're free to do whatever we please. When Megatron abandoned us for that Allspark-"

"Which was real! VERY much real!" Igor pointed out in a rare moment of clarity before he started to lick his tongue around anthill. Pretty soon, he was running around screaming in agony as they bit around the appendage, leading Starscream to face-palm. 

"As I was saying..." The former Autobot kicked back against the tree. "When he left Cybertron, it was I who kept things in order. I who helped integrate the losing army into our fold. You, on the other hand, kept fumbling, failing, and even crying for your school-femme crush."

That caused the diminutive second-in-command to balk and feel his face-plates heat up. "H-h-how dare you! My attraction to Megatron factors not in my decisions! Besides, he's not into mechs..." He added bitterly. "...unless you count that time with Optimus that we're not allowed to talk about."

"It was hilarious!" Laserbeak cackled, with Soundwave chuckling in agreement. "You know what? Go ahead. Fly in circles! You might even kill an Autobot or two if they don't kill you first! Take my advice. Start out with Jolt. Nobody cares about Jolt."

"Thanks for the tip...ingrate." Starscream's optic twitched before he clenched his claw. "One way or another, we will be reunited with our master and, with his guidance and MY skills, this war shall end. And I, as the only one with any loyalty around here, shall get the credit!" 

"Me too! Master will be so happy!" Igor jumped into Starscream's claw, to which he groaned and just accepted he had at least one Decepticon on his side, even if it was this repulsive remnant of the Constructicons. 

Soundwave just watched as the S.I.C transformed and flew into the air for a trip around the world again, takin Igor along in his cockpit. "Tell me. How much are you willing to be that he comes back with half of his wings hanging from his aft?" Laserbeak asked. 

"An entire shipload of energon." He replied.

_**Mera's Apartment, Present...** _

She's been doing this a lot more often lately. Staring out her apartment window and watching as the fragile glass before her shattered every little bit more. Reminded her of herself, honestly. Strong on the outside, but breaking apart by something as weak as a soft breeze the next instant. The only thing was her fixation was based not just around her own self-loathing, but something else. Something she thought she'd never experience again.

A glimmer of hope. All centered around her new previously unwanted job as museum tour guide. The Arsene Amulet. If she could pull this off, which she was absolutely sure she could, she could find at least a chance of handling the blessing/curse her epithet brought upon her life. Both she and her partner had been asleep more most of the day, aside from that embarrassing tour with those snot-nosed brats and that imbecile of a chaperone. Even Indus had more braincells than that candy-bearded buffoon!

Suddenly, she heard a knock on the door. "Lemonade!" A cheery British female voice called out.

Groaning, Mera opened the door. Recently, she had an epiphany. Indus was loyal and strong, but utterly bereft of any knowledge as to handle things such as delicate housekeeping or taxes. So, the both of them hired a maid with what little money they had nowadays. Penelope/"Penny", the maid in question, also had an epithet, but she wasn't exactly a normal inscribed person. Not even a person at all, though she still had sentience, a humanoid body, and a soul.

She was literally an inscribed alabaster-furred cat, mutated into a curvaceous humanoid build by whatever force of nature had done such a thing. Mera didn't even know what breed she was. Siamese, given her sharp features? Didn't explain why here legs, whole tail, arms, and ears ended in dark magenta fur. Nor the large eyelashes and aqua eyeshadow. Wearing the traditional maid dress, she leaned in with her tray. "More lemonade, m'lady? Nya?"

Grumbling about how much cat hair kept getting dragged in, she just took it and sipped...only for the whole building to shake violently as if something had crashed into the side of it. It spilled all over her and even that was enough to rattle her fragile bones. "Son of a...INDUS!"

"Lady Mera! It wasn't me!" The dull-witted but big-hearted desert-born manservant called out from below. "It was the big metal thing that not even my BARRIER, which is my epithet, could stop in time! Forgive me for my failure! I will crawl into this pile of sharp rusted pile in shame!" There was a rustling noise, showing that he was very much going through with that. "It is here that I am glad I am not afraid of needles. That tetanus shot was worth it."

Mera just stayed silent, rubbing her temples together and praying that everyone would get right back on track so that the plan she spent weeks preparing for would just start without a hitch. "Pardon me, but we should probably investigate." The cat-maid received no response, just a scowl from her master. "Oh, very well. This seems like a job for me! Nya!" From her rather large cleavage (Mera was thankful that she managed to keep her enraged cries of "FAAAAAKE!" to herself), Penny pulled out a large wrench that began to glow with pink energy. "Away I go! Nya!" Wrapping the thing with her tail, she ran down the stairs towards the wreckage. 

With nothing better to do than get Indus back on track, Mera followed, hearing her manservant let out noises of awe and wonder. "Indus! We don't have time for this!" She stepped out the door, only to see what exactly had crashed into her temporary place of residence. "What the crap?!" She honestly wasn't expecting the mangled half-dead corpse of a giant robot that resembled a helicopter (down to the rusted blades and other bits) in her backyard. 

Blackout, the robot in question, looked around, his working optic starting to fail him while he looked around at the human walking around his frame. Damned he'd be if he let these insects pick him apart! He let out a pained bellow in his effort to stand, but to no avail. They at least had the decency to back away, but he was starting to get uncomfortable. Less with the mountain of a man poking at his face, but with the cold almost glass-like stare of the Earth-based femme. Something about her was...off-putting. Despite that, he still tried to move, only to fail again and again. 

"He looks hurt!" Indus covered his mouth in empathy. "Don't worry, stranger! My name is Indus Tarbela. My epithet is BARRIER!" With that, a massive circular orange object out of nowhere lifted the Decepticon up, but he just slid off in a heap. "Well, that could have gone better, but A for effort!"

"This is ridiculous. It's probably some failed government experiment. Basically, useless for what we have in mind." Mera dismissed. 

From behind her, Penny leaped towards the robot's face, examining Blackout and rubbing herself all over him. Okay, NOW what was happening?! His optic frantically tried to keep pace with the strange feminine creature, sensing her as a threat. "Goodness, gracious! You've been through the wringer! Nya!" She said proudly, confusing him even more as she lifted her wrench. "Bit of a fixer-upper. Nothing I can't handle! NYA!" She slammed her wrench down, striking him in the face and making him grunt in pain. If he had his weapons working, he was gonna-

He felt his face suddenly shift around, his other optic working again and his metal twisting and turning into his original self. As she continued to slam her wrench down on parts of his body, they too were restored, even regrowing lost limbs and systems. With the seventh strike, she balanced herself perfectly on his shoulder as he stood up for the first time in forever, stretching his arms out as he let out a mighty bellow. "It's...so majestic..." Indus exclaimed.

"And there you have it! Nya!" Penny balanced herself on her wrench as Blackout's face turned to her. "How do you feel, stranger? Nya?"

Blackout was at a loss for words. Before, he was beyond repair. A wreck beyond saving and, more importantly, beyond any usage to Megatron. But this feline-like being had not only fixed him with what he could only describe as 'magic', but she did it with seemingly no ulterior motive. He wasn't a bot of many words, but his code of silence came second when it came to answers. "Who...who are all of you? Where's Megatron?! Where are the Autobots?!" He leaned down at Mera, sensing her as the leader.

Despite trying to act cool and aloof, Mera was at a total loss. Not at Penny's abilities. All this incident proved was that taking the uplifted animal along was an optimal plan. It was being faced down with a giant killer robot that could crush her if it so pleased. She was ready to unleash her hated epithet on the thing, maybe jam a few glass shards through that ugly thing he called a body. But she had to remember. Everything had to be taken into account like...a distraction. That's when it hit her. "All in good time, Mr...?"

"Greetings, Mr. Robot!" Indus extended his hand. "My name is Indus Tarbela! My epithet is-"

"I heard you the first time and I don't care! WHERE. IS. MEGATRON?! WHERE ARE YOU TORTURING HIM THIS TI-" Blackout roared until he was smacked in the cheek by that same wrench. "Ow!"

"Hush! I didn't even hear a thank-you after we basically saved your life. Nya!" Penny held her head up high. "But, to answer your question...we don't know any of those things, except our names. Nya."

"Lies! This is Earth, so therefore...we are on Earth, right?" A horrible realization was dawning on the hound-natured Decepticon. 

Mera looked at him like he was crazy (which he might very well have been). "Yes. And maybe, just maybe, we might be able to help each-other. But you have to listen to what I have to say. Otherwise, there goes the only people willing to give you the time of day."

"Lady Mera! Allow me!" Indus got in front of her before Blackout could utilize his sonic gun out of impatience. "This 'Megatron' person...are you like his bodyguard?"

Blackout stood proudly. "Yes. I will do whatever it takes to see that he is safe. And none of you will get in my way!" He quickly turned his head to Penny. "But there might be a spot for you in our ranks. Your skills are impressive and you...did save my life." The cat-girl just smiled before pointing to the hunk beneath him.

"Then, as our honor as bodyguards, we WILL help each-other! A debt has been created between the both of us! We have brought you back from the brink to seek your master again! But Lady Mera might need you for just a teeny little moment. Please! Will you, as a fellow bodyguard, show your honor in full?" Indus announced.

"What he said." Mera shrugged. For once, Indus' fixation on 'honor' and 'the code of bodyguards' was on the start to paying off in a big way.

Blackout actually seemed to consider his words. "Hmmm...normally, I'd call this ridiculous...you're humans. The ones who hurt my master...but you're right." He lowered his arms and bent a knee to get to their level. "I am Blackout. Decepticon interceptor and Megatron's most loyal servant. My mission is to protect my world of Cybertron by ensuring my master's victory. I will do only one task for you and, in return, you will help me, even if it means I must destroy everything in my path."

Indus grabbed his claw and shook it vigorously, surprising the Decepticon with his strength. "Accepted! Now, away we go!"

"Not yet!" Mera shouted before composing herself. "Okay, 'Blackout'. What can you do aside from...doing...uh...giant robot things?" Her mind was so one-track onto her goal, she dropped any questions as to where he came from, what was a Decepticon, and who the hell was Megatron. 

Penny was crawling all over the mech, almost tickling him in the process. "This is simply amazing! Two rotary blades, one for flight and the other for presumably combat! A blaster that fires offensive sonic waves! An EMP generator!" She was now on his face, looking into his red optics and grasping his face. "Are you an angel?! Nya?!"

He really wasn't prepared for the friendliness of this one creature, but again. She healed in him no time at all. She would be certainly useful in his trek. Not to mention, he figured, without his friend Scorpinok and brother Grindor, it would be nice not to travel alone for the duration of his new adventure. "Erm...no." He picked her up by the scruff of the neck, setting her down gently on the ground. "So, tell me. How did you repair my body and my very spark in such record time?"

As she explained with gusto, Mera looked to the police station in the distance. There was no way she was going to let ANYTHING stand in her way. Why not give the police force a reason to ignore her in favor of a much MUCH bigger problem?

_**Sweet Jazz Museum Rooftop, a few hours later...** _

Ravage's single optic opened in surprise when he found himself in an entirely new location. Obviously, this wasn't the sun-kissed lands of Egypt. He saw a metropolitan city around him, all under the cover of night. It was remarkably more quiet than he would expect. Honestly, it felt nice to get away from the chaos of everything that happened beforehand. No war. No violence. Just a peaceful landscape of stone and steel. 

He didn't feel fine in the slightest. The 13-year old minicon was anything BUT fine right now. Shaking violently, he fell to his side and he grasped his head, whimpering as he felt many strange feelings. He no longer felt that connection to Soundwave that pretty much defined who he was. His spine ached horribly, still feeling remnant of the grip of Bumblebee on it. But most importantly of all...he was alone.

Every time he tried to contact his fellow Decepticons, he received radio silence. He was directionless, in the wrong place, and utterly confused. Plus, he never expected to speak on his own accord again since he was 9 in human years. He continued to worriedly seek out a signal, running along the building in circles before he accidentally stepped on a faulty part of the roof. With a yowl, he fell through the newly made hole, flailing about in the air. 

Much to his relief, he fell into a fountain with a beautiful angel statue in the center. Contrary to popular belief, he loved the water, even during his link with Soundwave. He could swim more gracefully than any of his Decepticon brethren and enjoy it all the same. However, now was not the time for fun. He crawled out slowly, looking around to see if he had alerted anybody. In fact, the whole place seemed to be rather empty. The perfect opportunity for him to slip out through the glass doors in front of him. 

Except when he zoomed towards them and prepared to shatter through, he stopped. Was...was there a point to doing that? When he got outside, what was he supposed to do?! No Decepticons, no Autobots (as far as he knew, in which case, thank The Fallen), and no mission. Opening the tightly closed doors as much as he could without triggering the alarms, he took a deep breath. "HEEEEEELP!" He cried out in childish desperation. 

Alas, nobody listened. Nobody was up and about, even though a child's screams should have alerted at least one passerby. "Somebody!" He cried out again before backing away slowly after two minutes. "Anybody..." He lowered his head and his claws slunk away from the doors in defeat. Miserably, he sulked around, spiraling into depression as he considered how well and truly abandoned he was. The loss of his link was the loss of his purpose. There was no other place to go.

That's when he finally noticed he wasn't the only one alone in the museum. Standing right in front of him was a little African-American girl with a bear hoodie sweater, a backpack, and stars in her hair (?). She was holding onto a phone, having tried to make a call to arrest herself earlier. You know that part. How he didn't notice her could be chalked up as his mind not being in the right place until now, where he perked up and just...stared at her. 

Molly was freaking out even further on the inside. As if being trapped in a museum and breaking the law in the process wasn't enough, she was now face-to-freakish face with a giant robot tiger! In fact, it was some grotesque metallic parody of a big cat, complete with a twisted blade-like attachment on the tail, some weapon-pack on his back (kind of like a death-metal backpack), and a singular red optic above the jagged metal teeth. Truly, something that could only come out of somebody's nightmares. 

But she had also listened to him scream out in terror. Despite being as big as a Siberian Tiger, he sounded like she was about her age. This monster from out of nowhere was a kid like her! As he stood and titled his head at her, Molly cleared her throat as she hung up. "Nice kitty?" She nervously took a step, causing the Decepticon minicon to flinch back and growl. "It's okay! If there's anybody who should worry about getting hurt, it's me. Just...don't eat me?"

Now, Ravage just looked at her funny. "Eat you? Why would-"

SMASH!

And now, their real trials and tribulations begin.

_**New York, Unknown Universe...** _

It was a bright summer's day, as it always was in this universe. Everything was at peace. There was no hunger, no terrorism, no winter, no war. Just total peace. This was a good world. A better world. A world where everybody knew their place. A world...for Theresa.

Theresa's a good girl. Theresa's too perfect. Theresa is the ruler of the entire Earth because she's very important. Theresa's word is **ABSOLUTE.**

To truly get an idea about what this world was like, imagine a boot being stomped onto a human's face...forever. And having to listen to non-stop praise about a girl with an alien lifeform inside of her who was slowly losing her grip on reality, even more so than she was already. Theresa Sullivan Hartley. A name that would live forever only because the world had stopped caring at all. We'd go into detail, but now is not the time for that yet. 

Because a wholly new resident had arrived. Or, really, drove his way to one of the more empty ghettos that were piling up under Theresa's watchful eye. It was a rusty Mac Truck with some spikey protrusions and a tanker filled not with fuel or weapons, but with small bits of energon. Chittering and screeching noises emanated from the front of the truck, which was filled with strange monkey-like robotic beings that looked on the verge of dying. Sparklings, to be specific.

The truck drove along the empty street, past all of the posters praising the so-called 'Empress Theresa' and how she would be dedicating a new holiday to herself and the 'perfect' world she had managed to make. Slowly, the truck began to shift and creak in a rather painful-looking way until it started to take the shape of a hunched monstrosity of a machine, clad in a large piece of drab brown cloth and with a futuristic shotgun holstered on his back. The worst part about him was that almost half of his face was gone, the wound infested by many annoying parasites that he would crush out of boredom/spite occasionally. 

This monster growled at everything around him. Humans...how he hated them for the trauma they put him through. How they sided with his enemy mindlessly. He didn't know where he was or if his enemies occupied this section of Earth as well, but he was sure he was going to hate it all the same. But, if he just gave those humans time, maybe they'd find Sentinel already? Initiate that 'Dark of the Moon' plan they talked about many MANY cycles ago?

But that didn't matter for now. The Sparklings called out to him from below, forcing him to scoop them up in his arms. If there was one thing he wasn't leaving behind, it was the main reason to why he went looking for that damned Allspark in the first place. To save his race. His people. His children. No matter how cruel or terrifying his actions were, he knew he had an actual purpose. 

One that he knew he failed the moment Optimus allowed that WRETCHED human to send that Allspark into the Decepticon's chest. All of those years of being stuck in the ice and ripped apart by the humans were for nothing. The loss of his master...his creator...that was just another knife to jam into his chassis. Now, stuck in an unknown location and unable to corral the active Soundwave, he was truly lost. Life had effectively defeated him and he knew it.

"All hail Megatron." The Decepticon leader bitterly said as he plodded along on his own two feet, not caring if any humans noticed him. Cocking his shotgun, he was prepared for anything at this point. If he had to walk all the way from here and back to his remaining troops, 12 Primes help him, he would do so. 

At least, until his sparklings began to make a fuss. "Yes, I know you are hungry, my fragile ones." He was going to reach into his holster where all the energon was stored until he turned to his right to see a dilapidated diner. Sighing, he made his way towards there. If it meant the ones he considered precious would survive another day, resorting to human-made food was just as good as any option.

If only he knew the path this would take him...

_**"We'll be right back with Epithet Erased. Nya!"** _

_**Penny**_

_**Epithet: Repair** _

_*** Mera's newest pet-I mean servant** _

_*** Could put the lemonade industry out of business** _

_*** She does** _ **_machines (and might wanna do Blackout in another sense)_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, if anybody has any questions, feel free to ask. Also, sorry if this chapter came a bit early, but this just added some meat to the start of it all. 
> 
> Also, yeah. The tag involving Empress Theresa isn't a joke. Anybody who's heard of that book can tell you that it's fair game. Seriously. Those who read it and/or experienced the author's behavior will KNOW that Megatron's effectively screwed. Here's a link: https://empress-theresa.fandom.com/wiki/Empress_Theresa_Wiki
> 
> Who knows? Maybe that author (Norman) is lurking here as we speak...hopefully not.


	3. Museum Misery

_**"Epithet Erased. All hail Megatron!"** _

_**Blackout** _

_**Epithet: None (Transforms into a military helicopter)** _

_*** Megatron's "Hound".** _

_*** Literally, everything on his mind is about Megatron.** _

_*** Seriously. Speak badly about Megs around this guy. See what happens.** _

_**A few minutes earlier outside the Sweet Jazz Museum...** _

Barricade said nothing as a couple of weirdly dressed humans, led a taller pink-haired caped one, gathered around him in car mode. "Take a look, boys!" Giovanni exclaimed as he rested his knife-bat (we are NOT listing that thing's full name unless prompted, believe us) against the hood of the cruiser. "Some idiot cop left behind their proudest asset and Car Crash's greatest weakness!"

"Let it GO, boss!" Car Crash yelled. 

"Maybe your license is just cursed." Flamethrower suggested.

"Doesn't matter! Let's CRUSH IT! Right, Crusher?" Dark Star nudged the taller Banzai Blaster. He just grunted at the pun.

Ben, however, noticed the injuries the car had. "Somebody got to it first. Doesn't it feel like overkill?"

"Uh, DOI! Of course, it's overkill! It's our job to kick this thing while it's down, Ben!" Giovanni berated him before whipping out his bat. "Okay. On the count of three...one-" SLAM! His bat slammed into one of the headlights. "I got bored, everybody."

"Speaking my language, boss!" Spike gleefully got out her pistol, the others following suit.

It was at this point the Decepticon had enough with today's events. First, nearly getting blown to The Pit by two Autobots. Then, getting displaced into some freakish world where humans had unnatural powers. And now, after the havoc that ensued after that, he was about to get humiliated even further by a gang of these insects. If nobody would hold him back in the next few minutes, somebody was going to die. He backed up to surprise them, hitting Car Crash in the process. "Oh, come on!" He wheezed as he clutched his waist from that.

"GAH! GHOST!" Ben shrieked.

"EVEN MORE INCENTIVE TO HIT IT WITH ALL WE'VE GOT!" Flamethrower panicked as they opened fire. 

It was here that Barricade had no choice. Despite his tired state, he was sure he could ward them off. **"BARRICADE _TRANSFORM!"_** He yelled as he clumsily shifted into his robot mode, causing them to stop firing and look at him in awe. He let out a guttural growl, intending to scare them off or face being crushed like ants.

Giovanni stepped forth. "That...is the coolest thing I've ever seen! Sure, it's a police car that's probably out for revenge against the criminal underworld, but that must mean that the cops think of us as actual threats! So much so that they're willing to invent deadly new tech!"

"That's great, boss, but that thing looks pretty mad!" Car Crash trembled as the Decepticon got out his mace. However, he noticed how it wasn't spinning as much, its energy utterly spent. Instead, he just kicked both Car Crash and Flamethrower away before swatting his arm to knock Dark Star and Spike to the ground. 

Crusher grabbed his fist when it came for Giovanni, surprising the robot for a while. "Boss! Use your special move! This guy's tough!" He grunted as he was grabbed with the other arm and slammed into the fleeing Ben.

Despite being utterly terrified, the bat-wielding criminal steeled his gaze at the machine's four red eyes. "You hurt my boys...you're gonna pay for that one! Engarde!" He whipped out his weapon, but Barricade just raised his fists up and slammed them down, only for him to avoid them and he started to assault his legs rapidly. "123456789-"

"The scrap are you trying to do?! If this is another one of those STUPID powers, I'm gonna-"

"11, 12..." For reasons, he couldn't explain, Barricade felt a sudden chill as he raised the bat higher. "...13." When the bat connected, it felt like a massive shockwave rocked through the Decepticon's body, shorting out his vision temporarily and sending him crashing through the wall. "Hmph. Lousy pile of tin. That'll show you to-OH CRAP! My entrance! This is perfect! Boys, follow me!" He instructed the dazed and moaning crew.

"I knew I should have stayed home today." Ben wheezed while he was under Crusher's sheer weight.

"I now officially hate cars." Car Crash muttered as he popped his arm back into place. "Therefore, none of you can make a joke about my name. Okay?"

"NEVER!" Everyone else shouted in response. 

_**Meanwhile above the Sweet Jazz Police Station...** _

Like a dangerous bird of prey, Blackout flew across the cloudy atmosphere, his orders quite clear. Make a distraction at the station, annihilate everybody in his way, return to Mera, get info on Megatron. Simple as that. He just didn't expect Penny to join him inside the cockpit alongside his holo-pilot. "Bloody Hell, this is exciting! My first order from the master and it involves flying alongside a technological marvel! Nya!" 

Working alongside organics wasn't what he signed on for, but he didn't have much of an opinion on them anyway. That is, unless they made a move on his master. The humans certainly earned his ire for that. Penny? Cacophonic, yes. Useful? Very much so. Plus, with the possible loss of Scorponok, it was a nice change of pace. "If we are going to do this, you need a designation."

"Desig-nya?" She titled her head. 

"Designation. It's basically your name. Mine's Blackout. And yours?" He asked. Penny just sounded too...normal. Human, even.

She put a claw to her chin before it came to her. "I know! Howlback! It just sounds cool in my head. Nya!"

"Alright. I was thinking something more on the lines on how you're a mechanic who is also a maid. That's...actually rather confusing." His holo-pilot flickered as he thought about that. She pawed at the hologram in response before he raised a holo-arm to tell her to stop.

Still, she let out a sigh. "Due to my epithet, I did indeed want to be a mechanic and just that. Unfortunately, we don't always get what we want. It wasn't because I was a woman or a cat before I gained my intuition. It was...creative differences. Nya." She shrugged, though the Decepticon noticed a dangerous edge to her voice when she said that. "So, when I met Mera a week ago, they needed some house cleaning and so here I am! Wearing this surprisingly form-fitting outfit. Nya." She tugged at her uniform, her breasts hypnotically bouncing with it. 

He didn't know why, but those things on her chest were looking mighty enticing. The way they moved and jiggled...not to mention, her plush butt was resting comfortably inside of him as of late-SUBJECT CHANGE! "You realize what I'm about to do will result in many lives being lost. You are here to repair me in case they try anything."

"That I can do! And besides, you had me at the 'lives being lost'...nya!" She giggled. He decided to ignore that and start descending down to the station. 

Every officer that was working the night shift immediately noticed the foreign aircraft landing down and they sprung to action. "Uh, hey! Attention, undignified helicopter! It would be really nice if you would land immediately and explain what brings you here!" The random officer turned to his colleagues. "How was that?" They gave him several signs, '9', '8', and '9.5'. 

Blackout landed, with several officers crawling about. This took him back quite a bit. To when he grew sick of waiting on Earth for somebody to make a move to help Megatron, so he invaded an army base and, with a little bit of luck, he found info to do so. This time would be no different. Except he would personally make sure there were no survivors this time. To herald his arrival, Penny crawled out of the cockpit and climbed to the top. "Evening, coppers! I have this crossword and I'm trying to find a certain three letter word. Nya!"

They all looked at each-other for a possible response. "Uh...what's that?"

"A three letter word for 'something all of you should be doing if you want to live and see another day'! Nya!" She said as she revealed her wrench.

"Don't worry, guys! All we need is some meow mix! Then, she'll be less cryptic!" Another officer suggested before the wrench was thrown right at him, crushing him against the wall and effectively killing him. 

She stared at him with a dangerous stare as her pupils dilated into sharper slits. "And the word is.... **RUN.** "

_**<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OL0WEQxg8VQ> ** _

**"BLACKOUT _TRANSFORM!"_** The officers opened fire when the helicopter began to shift and morph into a hulking robotic shape. Without hesitation, he began to walk towards the station, unleashing his EMP wave first. The electronics were knocked out, effectively cutting off any and all communications. As he lumbered towards the place, he unleashed his machine-gun attatchement, cutting down swathes of his enemies.

However, they began to aim at his eyes and joints, causing him to stumble somewhat. It got worse when they broke out the rocket launchers, to which he had to use his helicopter blades as a spinning shield that also worked great in slicing apart cars. 

"Don't worry, guys! We've got him on the-URK!" An officer's neck was snapped when Penny slammed her wrench against him. She began to run through the building, giggling and cackling loudly as she destroyed door after door, smacking any officer she could with her giant wrench. 

Blackout finally got near the building, where he caught a glimpse of a bunch of bodies being made by the catgirl's rampage. "Isn't this just SPLENDID?! NYA?!" She cried out as she spun her wrench like a boomerang, taking out more enemy forces. The Decepticon was slightly unnerved by this, but this just meant she was even more efficient! A master mechanic AND a remorseless killer! Who would have thought?

Suddenly, large levitating rocks slammed against his head, while a bunch of vines emerged to wrap around his legs. There were at least a few epithet users trying to get everybody to safety. "Hold him back! We can't let him get any closer!"

Growling in annoyance, he put his blades back in place and aimed his sonic cannon right at them. Before they could react, he fired, sending powerful waves of sound in straight lines. Anything and anybody caught in the pulses was disintegrated, even the epithet users that were woefully unprepared. Some others didn't even get the chance to use their powers, as Penny attested to when she pounced on them and even jammed her claws into one's face and pulled upward. Many puked when they saw the result before they too were destroyed.

As this chaos went down, a lone police officer got out his outdated flip-phone and dialed a certain number. "Officer Percival! We have a situation here! CODE RED! CODE RE-" He was silenced when Penny grabbed him and threw him towards a sonic blast, vaporizing him. 

Looking around, he noticed a few were getting away. With the place effectively destroyed, he lowered his arm so Penny could hop onto it. "Did you see them?! They're so bloody pathetic! Damn, I love this job! NYA!" She exclaimed before hugging that arm. "Honestly, you're the best, Blackout. Nya."

"As...are you, Howlback." He nervously replied, not used to camaraderie like this after so long. " **TRANSFORM!** " He shouted before he turned back into his helicopter form (with Penny once again in the cockpit) and he started to mow down any who dared escape him. With this much effort, he would be seeing Megatron again in no time!

_**Back with Molly and Company...** _

Both Molly and Ravage stared at the injured robot lying in the ruins of the receptionist desk. He grunted for a few moments before deciding it wasn't worth it and resting against the wall behind him. He looked to the human girl, ignoring the minicon in the process. "What are you looking at?"

Ravage snapped out of his daze, his expression turning hostile. "YOU! The deserter! You've got a lot of nerve crashing through here!" He stalked towards the downed Decepticon, baring his fangs and even sharpening his tail blade against the ground. He pounced onto his chest, turning his optic to Molly. "Hey, human, you might wanna close your eyes. This is gonna get ugly..."

"Um...okay." At this point, she was just rolling with it. But the thought of this giant robot cat tearing into another was rather sickening. "Wait! Do you really have to?"

"What she said. Not like it matters." Barricade then wore a shocked expression. "Wait a minute. You're one of Soundwave's, aren't you?"

The minicon raised his claw to answer before he lowered it, apparently in shame. "...sorta. Lost the link. But I can still carve you up for abandoning Megatron!" Before he could do anything, he was slapped to the side by the belligerent mech. "OW! My spine!" He started to whimper, as if worried he would snap in half if he did anything wrong. 

It was at that point Giovanni and his slightly beaten boys walked in. "Look, I know you're probably gonna ignore us due to the ultra-scary robot we just beat up, but that's just it! FOOLS! We, the Banzai Blasters, are gonna rob you and this entire museum blind! LOOK UPON OUR DARK AND TERRIBLE MAJESTY!" He and his boys posed...rather badly.

Ravage looked at them and then glared back at the fallen Barricade. "I'm WATCHING you." He then turned to Molly. "Those jokers with you? I mean, good grief. You humans must have poor taste in company."

"Says the minicon who's related to Laserbeak." Barricade scoffed.

"STOP TALKING!" He growled back.

"Nope. I don't know them at all. Or you two, for that matter." Molly said as calmly as possible. If she just kept a level head, maybe she'd get out of this in one piece.

Giovanni looked positively offended. "Don't know us?! We're, like, so scary that the patrons around here must have run off because of the sheer terror that comes with the Banzai package! Totally not because there's...a giant...robot panther...that is also here...you've gotta be kidding me." He sighed before perking himself up. "Ferocious feline, surely, you find that I am so powerful that you would consider me your new 'master'?"

"Do you hear that? Boss is gonna tame a robot cat! It's like...it's like my whole life has been building up to this!" Spike exclaimed.

"For all the three weeks you've been employed, you mean." Ben added before being elbowed by Crusher.

Ravage snapped his jaws at the caped human, causing him to squeal in terror like a girl. "Fat chance! Good grief, you look pathetic." As he taunted the criminal, Molly attempted to call the police a second time, only to hear screaming and panicking on the other end. It was also during that moment that Ravage got a ball of soup thrown at his optic. "AUUUUUUGH!" The searing heat caused him to flip out, running all over the place before attempting to run up the walls and falling down on Barricade, granting them another heaping dose of pain.

"Hah! That's what you get! My terrible balls of lava! Or acid! Or lav-acid, as I'm now calling it!" Giovannia exclaimed before he fired a smaller blast at Molly before she could make out what exactly was going on through the other side of the phone. "And you, little tattletale! My first mission as a Banzai Captain will NOT be demeaned! You ALL shall taste my fury otherwise!"

"The taste of tomato basil?" She inquired as she got a little bit of it in her mouth. Even the badly battered Ravage found it to be rather delctable as his tongue slathered all over it. "I know it's rude for me to ask, but...is your epithet soup?"

As Giovanni reeled from embarrassment, Barricade groaned loudly. "12 Primes dammit! Another one of those?! And it sound even more annoying! Somebody just offline me already!"

"I can help with that, punk." Ravage growled. 

That didn't do wonders for the criminal's attitude. "You dare doubt me?! After I gave the BOTH of you metal morons a sound thrashing?! And then there's you, little girl...I have a slight feeling you've got an epithet yourself."

"UH, nope! I mean, I do, but it's Dumb! Nothing much!" She stammered before he pulled the age-old 'teleports behind you' trick and grabbed her by the hoodie. 

"Hold that thought." He said before climbing up on Barricade and, with some expert movements, tied all three captives to each-other, with Molly on the top and her back against Ravage's stomach. "Haha! And mom said those Arts 'n Crafts summer classes were a waste of money!" He turned away in a fouler mood. "And a waste of all that cash you sink into the bottle, you ungrateful-"

"Hey, boss, you're spiraling again." Flamethrower stated. 

"Oh, right!" He turned to Molly. "Really sorry you had to hear that. You know, moms and all! Always looming over your shoulder and nagging you to your grave. You know how it is."

She just sighed. "Kinda wish she was around right now." Silence fell over Giovanni as he took in what she just said.

"I don't even know what a mom is." Ravage added.

"I'm going to skin you alive when I get free." Barricade narrowed his optics.

"...Crusher! Spike! Dark Star! We're leaving for treasure! Wherever that vault is! Gonna have to spend some time forgetting what I just heard!" The crooked exclaimed before turning away to join his buddies. "Flamethrower! Car Crash! Ben. You look after these three. Don't want them to call the cops or the robot police or whatever!"

"Awwww, c'mon! Couldn't we have the guys who floundered against that bot guard them?" Ben whined.

"Can't hear you, BEN! Off to do some EVIL!" Giovanni exclaimed before turning to Molly one last time. "You did get your tetanus shot, right? Because that looks kinda painful." She nodded. "Good! Stay safe! EEEEEVIL!" With that, he and the Banzai Blasters he took went on their merry trouble-making way. 

While the remaining three bickered among themselves, Ravage struggled against his binds, but to no avail. "Are you kidding me?! Good grief, that blockhead really did manage to trap us! Hey, deserter! Do yourself a favor and move an arm around so I can chew it off."

"Fat chance." Barricade grumbled before resting for good. "What am I doing with my life?"

"It's not so bad." Molly offered, thankful her sweater was preventing her from resting against the (sand-encrusted?) hard metal of the metallic cat. "If they come back, they can offer us a ride home and I can get back to...work." She sighed that last bit.

"Human, the MOMENT they free us, I'm disemboweling them. Then, I'm gonna...uh...do minicon things! Like...walk along the beach?" Ravage was fumbling for any answer before his gaze managed to meet his fellow prisoner's. "What do you humans do when you lose your only purpose?"

She shrugged. "If you don't have anybody telling what to do, I guess find a new hobby? Preferably one that doesn't involve mindless manslaughter."

"That's a laugh!" Barricade chuckled. "So, you've got yourself one of those powers? If so, use it so we can go our separate ways and you'll never see us again. This humiliation does NOT leave the room. Got it?" 

"Y-y-yes, sir! It's just...it's literally Dumb." She replied. "The least I can do is create a silence bubble around us."

That perked Ravage's interest. "A stealth power? That's actually awesome. I'm an infiltrator and spy myself. I would spend a million shanix on that sort of ability!"

She wasn't prepared for that positive response to the power she always kept telling herself was useless. "Really? Thanks. Maybe we can pass the time by playing '50 questions'? I don't have many friends, but it worked the first time I did get some. You would like them."

"I'll start." The minicon managed to kick his leg out so it would scratch Barricade's knee. "How about 'why did you straight-up abandon our leader like the coward you are', BARRICADE?!" 

Before the bigger Decepticon could object, he noticed a burly and dumb-looking human walk into the room. "Oh, thank the Primes. An interruption. Hey, you! Human! Release us!" 

"Mr. Tour Guide?" Molly exclaimed. "He can't hear us in this bubble. Your're gonna have to scooch!"

Barricade grumbled as he used the claws tied around his back to drag himself over to Indus, leaving ugly gashes on the ground. "Oh, hello, terrifying robot and friends! My name is Indus Tarbella. My epithet is BARRI-"

"Shhhh!" All three commanded, making him sheepishly hush up. 

"Oh, sorry! I was instructed by Lady Mera to make sure nobody was here! Except now you're here...and they're here...and there's a suspiciously car-shaped hole in the wall. Are you lost?" Indus asked.

"Forget that! Untie us, if you know what's good for you!" Ravage commanded before twitching violently. "But do it gently. I think my spine's got internal oil-leaking." 

Molly decided to take over before things could get out of hand. "Excuse me? Those guys over there? They're the bad guys."

"BAD GUYS?!"

"AKA, not us...for once." Barricade sardonically added. "Smash them into paste, free us, everybody goes home happy. You got it?"

Despite that order, Indus stepped past them and held a hand to his chest. "As an honorable warrior, I cannot let any threats hurt my Lady Mera. You seem strong, terrifying robot. As do you, metal kitten."

That actually got a laugh out of the Decepticon. "Metal kitten? I'm gonna call you that from now on, sparkling."

"All of my hate." Ravage trembled in rage before he noticed Indus go on a bigger spiel about honor and protection and barriers. "It's like a human version of Blackout. Except I feel strangely at peace and I just wanna hug him."

"Yeah. Me too." Molly admitted before clearing her throat. "Sir, you might wanna step out of the bubble. They literally can't hear you."

As Indus went on to challenge the three Banzai Blasters (after having to scoot from the bubble, of course), Barricade started to push himself up with his claws, getting up a few inches before falling back down and starting the process over again. "Just...a little bit...harder..." He grunted. "When this is over, human sparkling...you're gonna show me the ropes around this planet. I have some...plans!" He grunted as he almost got to his feet.

"Oh, that's fine. I guess. Are you two aliens?" Molly asked. "At this point, nothing would surprise me."

"The political term is extraterrestrials, but sure. We're aliens. And what exactly are you planning, deserter? Guess you got so bored deserting Megatron that you just wanna desert...desert...you get my drift!" Ravage growled. "Don't listen to him, human! He'll abandon you when the going gets tough!"

"It's always tough in the war. I just happened to have half a processing unit." Barricade shot back. 

"EXCUSE ME!" Indus yelled as he was posing in front of the also-posing Banzai Blasters. "Which one of us hold the better pose? Majority rules!"

The three looked at each-other (to an extent) and they all said. "You."

"Victory! Thefirststrikeismine!" As quickly as he said that, he rammed into the poor henchmen, knocking Flamethrower out and leaving the other two to mourn. As for Indus..."It seems I am now stuck."

"Good grief." Ravage groaned. "Are all of you humans like this?"

"Not really. Some are really smart, but also kinda mean. And some don't know how to use a credit card and get mad at me for it like it's my responsibility their debit card expired!" Molly yelled before calming down. "Sorry. Work troubles."

"You? Working at...how old are you?" Barricade asked.

"12."

"Heh. That's nothing! I was in the battlefield when I was 9!" Ravage boasted before shivering. "The things I saw...you never forget your first kill..."

That seemed to tick off Ben, whom was coming close with Car Crash at his side. "I heard that! I bet you must have a really stupid name, which I'll inevitably trump with my new villain name...Kid-Puncher!"

"Hmmm...I dunno. That doesn't make any-oh, no. You're talking about me, aren't you?" Molly panicked. 

"Nah, he was talking about me. At least, I hope they were. I'd like to see them tr-" The two fired two shots from their pistols at him, casting a few hit points away and dealing him some pain. "AUGH!"

Ben was snickering at this point as both he and Car Crash readied their weapons for another go. "I've got an even better idea...KID/ROBOT BEATER-UPPER!"

"You humans are MORONS!" Barricade growled as he was hit in the face as well, making him do his best to hit them with any free limb he could find. All to no avail. "Little human! What are you waiting for?! Use that power and get these slagheaps out of here!"

"He is right! Defend you and your comrades!" Indus said within the wall he was trapped in. "Do not despair, for if you do so, who knows what other bad guy maneuvers they'll try on you?!"

Molly started to panic, especially when the two Banzai Blasters crawled onto the desk to take aim at her personally. "Um....umm...there's one thing I've promised never to use on people-"

"You're worried about that now?! Forget that! They're about to beat you within every inch of your life! Whatever you're holding back on, stop it already! Besides, it's just us Decepticons." Barricade said with a sinister edge.

"Yeah! Throw 'em off with...stupid? Was that it?" Ravage struggled to free his tail so he could skewer those jerks, but it wouldn't be necessary.

"No...it was DUMB!" Molly unleashed a wave of bubble-shaped power that seemed to flow into Ben's very head, causing him to mumble and blubber idiotically.

"HEY! What the hell did you just do?!" Car Crash demanded.

Even Barricade and Ravage were at a loss. "Did you just...wipe his mind?" Barricade asked. 

"I...I can't believe that worked!" Mollye exclaimed before clearing her throat. "You are a car. You're out of control! And you really want to hit...him!" She pointed to the hapeless Car Crash. And you know the rest...SMASH! 

Once again, the two mechs were left speechless, especially when a broken wheel rolled on past them for seeming comedic effect. "That's just brutal." Ravage commented. "And awesome! For a human, you've got some pretty rad abilities there! Between the stealth bubble and messing with people's heads, we'd be unbeatable if we combined our skills!"

"Oh! Thanks." She blushed. "I'm flattered, but I don't think I wanna join in giant scary robot things just yet. I just wanna get back to work. Except I don't wanna, but I kind of have to."

"Hmmm...most interesting." Barricade nodded. "Ravage has a point. Whatever 'work' you have to do, you could always-"

SMASH! Indus finally broke free from the wall, dusting himself off. "I know that should have been impossible, given a few laws of physics, but, as Lady Mera puts it, laws are merely suggestions! Like Square Cube Law. As a warrior, it is my duty to break it. Much like that Blackout guy did when he took to the air like a majestic robo-eagle!" 

"I'm sorry, what?!" Barricade's optics widened. "Did you say...Blackout?"

"You know him? I suspected! You must be, like, his little brothers!" Indus exclaimed. "I just realized! Maybe you all came to this city to see the sights and enjoy the many wonders that not even my desert home could bring!" He leaned in to the bigger Decepticon. "But wait! You look like...a police officer! Um, uh, nothing to see here! I have been given explicit orders from Lady Mera to never let any of you in."

"You noticed that now?" Barricade groaned. "And no, I'm not a cop. Don't panic."

"And hold up! You sure you saw Blackout? Because, last time Soundwave informed me, he was literally dead in the water." Ravage added. 

"Maybe we should just call the cops. There's more of those guys in the museum, you know." Molly suggested.

"MORE BAD GUYS?! Then, away we go! Come, everybody! We've got a museum to save!" Indus sped towards the north, leaving the captives in the dust.

"WAIT! Couldn't you just let me use your cell phone?!" Molly called out fruitlessly.

Barricade shook with rage until he let out a roar and finally managed to lunge forth and get onto his feet. "To The Pit with this! COME BACK HERE AND FREE US, YOU HOLLOW-SKULLED ORGANIC!" 

"Ack! Hold on, human! It's gonna be a bumpy ride!" Ravage exclaimed as the Decepticon they were tied to stumbled everywhere he went, nearly ramming the other two into the walls as he did so. "Still, though, if Blackout's alive...hehehehe...you're in trouble now, desert-OW!" His face was rammed into the side of wall for that.

"Whoops. Stabilizing servo tripped." Barricade grumbled as the trio continued their way inside.

_**Meanwhile with Megatron...** _

When he got to the diner, Megatron felt the effects of walking for cycles on end in his injured state hit him like his alt-mode. He looked at the diner and snarled at it. He cared not for the humans and their eateries. If they didn't house energon, they were useless. However, this one looked like it was ready to rot. It was called 'Skybound Burgers', which featured a giant burger on the roof with angelic wings, but they were close to decaying due to the ruined state of the building. It looked just as depressing as everything else around this town.

He sat down down next to the place and allowed the Sparklings to crawl around him, one of them chewing on a parasite that strayed too far away from the hole in the overlord's head. "Do not go too far. If you can find something that can be converted into energon...then do it now." He was somewhat aware that they didn't know what he was talking about, but he was losing concentration as sleep overtook him. He reached out one claw to grasp them to his chest, but he fell asleep soon after. 

The sparklings, all five of them, crawled on the ground as they chittered and shrieked to each-other. They were unsure what to do ever since they survived the loss of the Allspark. All the other hatchlings had pathetically died as soon as they exited their pods. Not them. Thanks to Megatron's timely intervention after the Fallen's demise, they were given another chance at life. Still, that didn't mean they had any direction. All they could do was move around and explore the world while still staying close to their keeper's side.

All of them just stared at the open glass doors of the dreary building, until the seeker-like Sparkling (#4) and an incredibly bulky one (#2) ran ahead of the other three. #4 just wanted to be the first to out-brave his fellow sparklings, while #2 just wanted to have a go at anything that would threaten his broodmates. He began to turn over tables, reveling in how they fell before him. The largest of the sparklings, one with two developing blasters on his shoulders (#1) sighed before following and making sure they wouldn't get into trouble.

One of the two remaining sparklings, a rather plain one (#5), did his best to keep it cool. His companion, a rather round one (#3), just entered as if bored. Shakily, #5 followed, turning his head to Megatron one last time before he went into the unknown. The five of them began to ransack the place, leaving their spittle everywhere. However, #4 noticed something enticing. A perfectly good burger on one of the tables. However, as he crawled onto it, #2 rammed into it. causing it to fall onto the ground.

#5 managed to catch it, surprised that he actually managed that. He showed it to #3, whom just laid against one of the windows dejectedly. Before he could eat it, #4 and #2 growled at him, making him cower until he ran into #1. The larger sparkling slammed his fist down, silencing their growls. Before they could all decide what to do with it, they heard the sound of a door opening.

"Hello? Anybody still coming here?" An incredibly soft feminine voice asked demurely, leading to a human walking in on them. She was an african-american young adult with sandy brown skin and waist-long unkempt raven hair that had strands poking out every inch of it. She also had strange eyes (that were like somebody just left a drawing on them without actual color, as well as large eyelashes/pure black pupils, and called it a day) and her figure was somewhere between curvaceous, but also kind of plain, given some noticeable fat around her waist. An interesting feature was the stretch marks on the corners above her hips as well. All she wore were tattered jeans, long drafty socks, and a ripped tanktop (all of which didn't do much in obscuring her generous rump and bust), as well as some hoop earrings. 

The sparklings didn't know how to respond to such a creature. They had never seen a human before in their lives. "If this is the Empress Police, then I need you to understand. I'm really busy and I'll come to the gather soon enou..." She stopped when she saw the strange robots in her vacant diner. Unsure how to respond, she took a step forward, causing them to back away. "...hello?" She waved slightly, making them cower slightly less.

The first to go towards her were #1 and #2. They examined the strange creature, circling around and sniffing her body. "I wouldn't do that! I haven't showered in days." She said as she stood still so she wouldn't provoke them. They didn't seem to regard her as a threat, so they returned to looking at the fallen burger. "Oh! I get it! You're all hungry. It's been so long since anybody actually came here and actually wanted my cooking again."

She quickly went back into the kitchen, whipping out some pre-made burgers. "I was saving these for me and my husband, but he's never around and I..." She felt around her waist, squeezing against her flesh and, much to her dismay, noticing a sizable amount. "...think I don't need all those claims about me validated further." She leaned down, having nothing better to do as she watched the sparklings look upon her burgers. 

At first, they were hesitant, but they eventually dug in, finding it just as delectable as those energon bits. Despite being wary of the arrival of these rather freakish things, stranger things had befallen her world since Theresa came into power. This was one of the few things that didn't seem all that bad. However, she noticed #4 and #3 begin to fight over their burger. "No!" She crossed her arms, doing her best to intimidate them into stopping. To her surprise, it worked and she cleared her throat. "Why don't you share it? So much nicer than fighting about it." She picked up the burger and split it in half, giving the halves to the critters.

When she sat down to watch them some more, #5 got as bold enough to curl up in her lap and look up at her. She was grateful that the metal creature wasn't uncomfortable to the touch, but she was more than happy to pet him regardless. The sparkling let out some satisfied chirping noises, snuggling into her stomach as the others got similar ideas in their heads. She giggled as she allowed the others to gang near her, with #1 monitoring them to make sure they didn't hurt their new friend. 

Back outside, Megatron began to stir from his slumber. Memories of losing his master, losing all of Cybertron, losing the battles on Earth, losing the fate of the Transformers...and the image of Megatron possibly burying his axe into the other side of his face and finishing the job. He woke up with a start, the parasites in his gaping head-hole not making it easier. He swatted a few away before standing up. "Where are you now?" He growled as he looked around for any sign of the sparklings.

He remembered how they looked at the entrance, so he leaned down, only to see through the glass not just his sparklings, but also a HUMAN in their presence. Even more galling, they seemed perfectly happy with this lone human female! He growled as he got out his shotgun and let out a terrifying roar that caught their attention and made her hair stand on end as she looked this new considerably bigger robot in the optics. "EEK! I'm sorry! Are these your kids?"

"You would be wise to let them go right now before I put you and your pathetic race out of its collective misery." He stuck his gun through the doors, aiming directly at her. "My fragile ones, leave. Return to the safety of your beloved caretaker." Though they were tempted to follow his orders, they refused to move, not seeing why she had to face the wrath of that weapon. "I said NOW!"

She spoke up. "Maybe if you didn't yell so much? I think they're scared of you right now." 

He removed his weapon and tore a hole through the entrance with his claw. Now, she could get a full glimpse of the ugly beast that was he. "You presume to speak to me as if we were equals?! You're either suicidal or you're stupid!"

Though she looked hurt by that statement, she sighed. "A little bit of both. Mostly the former." #2 spoke up, then the rest did as they objected to the yelling, whining and generally raising a fuss.

This annoyed the overlord so much that he slammed down his fist and reached an arm through the hole, grabbing her in his claw. She was frozen with fear as he lifted her to his level, his intense red optics staring her down. "Whatever you have done to my brood, it will not work on me. Do you see all of this?" He pointed to his gaping wound, to which she gasped at. "You miserable lot allowed this after what you did to me. I'm sorely tempted to return that favor to you personally."

To his surprise, she relaxed in his grip. "At least that means somebody realized that I exist. If killing you would make you happy, go ahead. I just don't think they'll be too happy. Look." She pointed to his legs, which were being assaulted by the sparklings in their attempts to keep her from being executed. "I know it's rude of me asking, but who and what are you?"

He looked downright incredulous. "Did Mission City mean nothing to your race?! I am Megatron! All that oppose me are ground into dust! And who may YOU be?" He mockingly asked.

"Ginny. Ginny Koster. The small and meek." She lightly joked, even though she was rightfully terrified of the obviously brutal robot. She also noticed those vicious parasites in his wound, unnerving her more. "Are you sure you don't need a mechanic? You're hurt all over."

"I need nobody's help. Besides, what could-AUGH!" He gasped and clutched his chest in pain, sparks flying out it as well as his head-wound. As it turned out, there were more scars hidden under the armor. It caused him to lose his grip on Ginny as he fell to one knee. "No...I am...Megatron...I cannot..."

"You really are hurt." Ginny commented as the sparklings moved towards the Decepticon overlord, worried for his safety as he wheezed and spat out some green fluids. 

He just brushed them all aside, his face returning to an angry scowl. "Ignore all of that! You should...hmmm...this world seems...different. Do you even know what an Autobot is?" He asked. 

"No. Not at all." She shook her head before he was in her face again.

"Then you will inform me of this world's state and what I can do to make sure it benefits myself. If I can't rule my planet...then I'll rule another." He chuckled. "With that, I'll bring my fellow Decepticons and all shall learn to bow before Megatron! This...could be a new Cybertron! Isn't that wonderful, my fragile ones?" The sparklings didn't care. They were too busy worrying over the both of them. The reminders of his failing body caused him to clutch his claws in anger as he stood up. "Grrraaagh! Are we clear?!

Ginny gave a nervous glance to the smaller robots before sighing. At least something was happening that served as a change in pace.

_**"Epithet Erased! Good grief, I just had to do it."** _

_**Ravage**_

**_Epithet: None (Transforms into a missile)_ **

_*** Decepticon Infiltrator** _

_*** Such a bad kitty that he breaks cat norms (like enjoying the water).** _

_*** Literally a kid with a confirmed kill-count.**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the messy upload. Messed up the release date.
> 
> As for Ginny, yes, she was a character from Empress Theresa that's getting more screen-time here (as everybody else in that book should have had more "character"), but I kinda cribbed her new design from Darkprincess04's OC, Ni (with her hair color being changed, though). I hope he/she doesn't take offense to that.


	4. The Barricade Brigade

_**Epithet Erased...hrrrnn..."** _

_**Megatron** _

**_Epithet: None (Transforms into a busted up big rig)_ **

_*** Leader of the Decepticons** _

_*** He's obviously seen better days.** _

_*** In desperate need of a face-lift, for instance.** _

_**Back with Molly and Company...** _

"Left!" "Right!" "No, LEFT!" "Sorry. I don't here very often." "I win! I say le-OW! Watch it, bolthead!"

Barricade had to wonder why he wasn't going insane from hearing these two sparklings command him like this. He was trying to keep his balance throughout this mess and they just kept whining about him nearly hitting them while he was at the risk of falling and being immobilized. "If you two don't shut up, I'm turning my body around!"

"Sorry, sir." Molly said quietly. At the very least, the fleshing had manners. It was kinda cute in its own way. 

Ravage, on the other hand..."Okay, deserter, listen up! We're gonna find that pink-haired organic and dice him up into pieces if he doesn't untie us! Then, you'd better be ready to defend yourself, because I'm gonna-AAAUGH! My spine!" 

"Finally." Barricade muttered as the restraints around them tugged on the minicon's damaged spine. As they were going around a corner (and no doubt destroying some priceless organic-related junk), he heard some noises coming from behind a door. "Let's get this over with..." He took several steps back.

"Wait, what are you...no...you wouldn't!" Ravage's optic widened. 

"We're not going to ram through the doors, are we?!" Molly panicked. 

The larger Decepticon turned to his side, intending on using that part to smash through the doors. "Calm down, fleshing. I saw this in a movie once!" He let out a guttural roar before shifting all of his weight forth as he ran towards the doors.

"NO! STOP! MOVIES HAVE NO BASIS IN REALI-"

SMASH!

The little girl was cut off when the robot destroyed the wall and tripped in the process. He actually managed to shred the rope as he skidded against the ground, causing Ravage to crash into a wall and for Molly to suddenly be right next to a surprised Mera. On instinct, her powers activated to dumb down any possible damage that could happen to the both of them...right as Giovanni was swinging his bat down. "...safe?" Molly chuckled nervously.

"One of these days, deserter..." Ravage muttered as he struggled to get up after that.

Barricade ignored him, his four optics locked onto a just-as surprised Giovanni. "Round 2, fleshing." Despite his damaged state, he was able to flex his claws and grasp his mace tightly.

"Oh, hey! It's you, hehe...no hard feelings about getting tied up, right?" The criminal stammered before composing himself and getting out this bat. "Boys! Battle positions! This time, I'm sending this pile of junk to the scrapyard!"

The three Banzai Blasters cheered in approval before Ravage suddenly pounced in front of them and let out a terrifying roar that sent them cowering. "He's mine to handle, you weirdos! But I guess I could hold off on Decepticon tradition to have a crack at your boss too." He started to stalk towards Giovanni, despite feeling immense pain in his back. "Yeah, I'm gonna feel that in the next cycle."

"Wh-whatever! I've stared death in the face before! Ever loitered in front of a truck?! Dangerous stuff! Now, it's time to show off my evil awesomness in front of a literal couple of loose screws!" Giovanni continued to wave his bat threatened as the robots closed in. This went on for an entire minute, the three staring daggers into each-other. But before they could go in for the kill...

"Indus, second Scattergun."

"Yes again, Lady Mera!"

Before Barricade knew it, bits of barrier began to rocket towards him, messing up his aim as he flung his mace wildly in the air. As he roared in anger, a large piece hit him directly on the head, causing him to start losing consciousness. He stumbled comically for a moment, nearing a suddenly panicked Ravage. "Nononononono-don't you dare-AAAAAUGH!" The minicon was interrupted when the machine landed directly onto him, knocking the both of them out. 

Mera just chuckled as Indus held onto Molly by her hood while surrounded by the unconsciousness bodies around him (including the Banzai Blasters that were on the recieving end of the first scattergun). "You see, everyone? They say the machine always wins, but they'd be wrong."

"Aw, come ON! Why'd you have to steal my win?! And why did you hurt my boys?! What did they ever do to you, aside from threaten the safety of this place and generally act like perfect henchmen?" Giovanni yelled, outraged.

"Two words. No witnesses." She simply replied before getting down to business. And we all know how well that would go for everybody involved.

**_Back with Megatron..._ **

The Decepticon overlord swore there was something wrong with his processor. Maybe it was because of the horrible head-wound, but there was no way any of these humans could be this STUPID. How they suddenly and collectively started worshiping this one insignificant little girl before she even did anything with this HAL or whatever he was named. 

Theresa...he had already begun to hate her when she learned of her bloated self-indulgence for herself. From forcing this planet to have a permanent season to basically doing whatever she wanted with nobody to oppose her despite claiming she wanted to live a normal life, she sounded like quite the whiner as well. It was impossible to list all of her deeds in this one fanfic, as not even we're crazy enough to read the book (thank you, KrimsonRogue, for undertaking that task of reading that). 

From Ginny's perspective as she continued, the whole planet revolved around what Theresa would do next. Recently, she had stopped the dictatorship of North Korea with a combination of violence and bland speeches that, somehow, everybody saw as brilliant. Not to mention that thing involving Jerusalem and how a certain group of people was perfectly happy with just leaving it behind despite everything else. 

And the scientific inaccuracies! Sure, science wasn't his forte, but even Megatron knew that the planet would go into an absolute panic if the wind suddenly vanished instead of treating it like it was nothing to worry about like everyone else did, among other things. "So..." Megatron rubbed his remaining temple, trying to process what the human before him had said. Even some of his sparklings looked bored out of their central processors. "What does your new ruler do now?"

Ginny sighed, crossing her legs together in front of the titan. "I dunno. She just spend time away from the responsibility of a world that pretty much has become subservient to her. Those of us with any sense have to do whatever we can to get on by. Me? I already told you how my husband was on good terms with her. But...sometimes she taunts us and he just buys into it." She put a hand to her mouth. "In comparison, those taunts are small potatoes to things like banning Christmas because it 'wasn't Christian enough' or destroying all the museums because they taught about evolution."

He nearly doubled over in laughter. "Denial of evolution?! Next thing you'll be telling me that he convinced you lot that humanity doesn't need to breath because 'God will help them through'!" 

She looked uncomfortable at his claim. "That's not...untrue, but I don't think she believes in God. I just think she uses him as an excuse."

The Decepticon suddenly leaned in, his face awfully close to hers. "I actually watched my own God **die** in front of me. The least anybody can try is making an example out of him so that she's humbled. Or, better yet, broken. It would certainly make me feel better."

That threw her for a loop before she composed herself. "Alright. I told you my story. Of how her word is law and we're required to worship her every single minute of the day and how she does nothing to stop it despite her claims. How about you?" She moved closer. "Why are you so mean, would be a good place to start."

Megatron grasped #1, cradling him in his left arm while his right crushed a large piece of rubble. "Good? Evil? Those concepts mean nothing to me now. Only Cybertron, my homeworld, meant anything to me." He got up and stepped forward. "You should feel incredibly lucky I'm feeling charitable. The truth is, your kind is repulsive. Hypocritical. Meant to be ruled over. I'm surprised somebody like Theresa didn't take over any sooner. The fact that I'm not blasting you into atoms should be telling about how much I've fallen."

Ginny didn't like his tone, but she already began to form theories in her head. Growing bolder, she pointed to his head-hole, which still continued to be pestered by parasites. "You must have met some pretty bad people to make you this bitter."

He darkly chuckled. "There's more to this wound than meets the eye." He tapped his horrific damages for emphasis. "Before I tell you all about me and my kind, tell me this. Are you willing to watch over my brood as I make this planet my own?"

The sparklings immediately ran over to her and looked up, making pleading noises all the way. Still sitting, Ginny allowed them to swarm around her, holding her close. "I always did want kids. Not that my husband ever wants to give me any. Personal things. You wouldn't understand."

"No, I wouldn't. Your human courtship rituals are...interesting, but not important as of now." He replied. "Yet I can already tell you're going to be a dedicated caretaker and you didn't even have to plead for that. Impressive." 

She actually managed a smirk, despite her meek demeanor. "Guess not all humans are so bad after all." Before he could retort, she hugged #3 and #2 close. "But be warned. The world is a scary place. It's what we do about it that defines who we are. And, I'm guessing you made some pretty bad choices in your life."

"You have NO idea..." He muttered before raising his arm. "It all started in a universe far, far away..." He wouldn't admit it, but it kind of felt good to recount stories again. He used to do it to impress the sparklings before the current batch before him. Now, he was doing it not only to a preferred group of former hatchlings, but also a human. What a strange journey this was going to be. He didn't even notice the other human coming on on a motorbike from behind the establishment...

**_Meanwhile with Molly and Company..._ **

Slowly, Barricade came back online, groggy and with bits of barrier still falling out of his hull. He shook his head as he shakily stood up, also feeling like there was something he had to get off of his chest. Literally. "Crap, he's waking up! Act natural, kid!" That voice, the one that belonged to that pink-haired fleshbag...he swore he was going to make him feel like going to The Pit would be a relief if he got his claws on him.

When his vision came back, he found that fleshing and the small one from earlier looking up at his wrecked frame. He let off a low growl before he heard a moaning noise from his chest. Turns out, Ravage was still pancaked onto it. "Give me a nanoclick." He slowly peeled off the minicon, flopping him onto the floor.

"I...am at a loss for words..." Ravage slurred as he picked himself up. "...at how much PAIN...I can take." He turned to the two humans, growling. "Forget you humans. I've had enough!" He then pointed to Barricade with a broken claw. "And you...you can rot with them for all I care! I'm leaving this place for goo-OW!" As he was walking away, he ran into the barrier erected on the side. "No...nonono...good grief...we're trapped."

Barricade growled before slamming a fist against the barrier, only for at least one of his claws to crack. "I hate this planet already! Why can't you humans just be normal?!"

"It wouldn't be so bad." Molly shrugged before sitting down with a just-as-dejected Giovanni. "Sorry you ended up like this. You may be giant scary robots, but I don't think you deserve this."

The larger Decepticon signed before slumping against the wall. "You have no idea. Maybe this is fate at work. We've done some pretty monstrous things during the war. I should have made my peace cycles ago since Megatron's death."

"Mega-who? Coolest name ever, but I'm lost." Giovanni said. 

Ravage growled. "Yeah. You should have before you abandoned him at his time of need. If you'll excuse me..." He turned back to the wall before clawing at it mindlessly. "LEMMEOUTLEMMEOUTLEMMEOUT! I can't TAKE IT anymore!" Suddenly, he felt calmness wash over him, as if there was nothing to worry about. "Aw, yeah...that's be-hey! Human! What do you think you're doing?" He turned to Molly, who stumbled back to the pile of unconscious Banzai Blasters.

"Just using my epithet to reduce your stress! It only seems to work around kids my age!" She quickly said before looking down. "I don't mean to pry, but you were sad about something when we met up. Maybe you'd like to talk about it?"

Giovanni scoffed. "Good luck with that. These lugnuts thought they could measure up to me. I would have showed them if it weren't for that creepy girl and her gorilla of a manservant!" He was suddenly nearly met with the sharp end of Barricade's mace. 

"I'm almost tempted to test that theory, fleshling. I've about had enough of you puny insects for one night!" The Decepticon narrowed his four optics.

Rather than take up his offer or cower, the gears were moving within Giovanni's head. "You know...you may look like a police car, but you're a definite bad guy, aren't you? The scary red eyes, the brutal warrior-look, the claws, the weapon, the eyes again, the awesome symbol, "To Punish and Enslave", you have it all! Same goes for your feline friend there!" He pointed at the minicon.

"We're not friends!" Ravage quickly said. 

Now, Giovanni was snickering. "Okay! Seeing as how I'm boy-less, even though they tried their best, I propose a...villain team-up! Imagine! You rookies working together with an esteemed captain like myself, Giovanni Potage!"

Both Barricade and Ravage looked at each-other before the larger Decepticon put a claw to his chin. "Working together with you? We may not be rookies in wreaking havoc, but this world could hold plenty of things we're not prepared for. At the same time...you say you're the leader of your organisation?"

"Nah, just a Captain. First mission, in fact. Kinda went south, but nobody has to know." He replied.

"I'm taking over."

"That's fi-WHAT?!"

"You heard me, fleshling. Consider it my new lease on my functionality. If I'm going to be miserable, I might as well be comfortable. From now on, I'm calling the shots. I'm building up back to the good ol' days on Cybertron. From now on, you can call me boss." He leaned in. "All of you, for that matter."

"Wait, what?" Molly perked up after almost tuning them out.

"Are you insane?! You wanna go back to the old days where you and your Race Track Patrol was still a thing? Count me out, deserter!" Ravage growled before being grabbed by the neck.

"Do you have any place to go? Because, last I checked, I don't sense any connection to that freak, Soundwave, in that hollow cavity you call a head anymore." Barricade pointed out. "Even if you don't want to join, you're still helping us get out of this mess." 

"...fine. You win." It was like a switch had been pulled. Ravage was now on the ground, sulking from that remark. 

"NOPE! Not hearing this! I outrank you all! You're not even a captain! Your'e a...okay, seriously. Who and what are you?" Giovanni asked.

"I was going to say. I know it sounds redundant, but you're not from around here." Molly pointed out. 

Barricade chuckled. "Little fleshling, we're the Decepticons." He pointed to his symbol for emphasis. "We take what we want whenever we want. You probably won't see us coming until it's too late, seeing as how we've taken on alt-modes that you humans fall for easily. Hailing from the planet Cybertron, we've been at war with those damn Autobots for many stellar cycles. So long that I've forgotten just how many of those guys I've scrapped. My designation is Barricade. Dead or dead, my enemies come with me." He slammed his fist into his palm.

Ravage stepped forth, just rolling with this at this point. "Designation, Ravage. Minicon spy, saboteur, and ground-control unit. I may be young, but I've ended more lives than you can count on your little digits."

"So...evil alien robots. Got it." Giovanni replied. "But why does that make you so much better than me?! You don't even have any epithets! Just turning into cars and stuff!" 

"They DO have you on weight." Molly pointed out as Barricade crushed a Banzai gun in his claw for emphasis. "Still, maybe we don't have to fight that woman. We could just...give her my epithet."

"WHAT?!" All three shouted. 

"Just give away your power?! Do you know how many Cybertronians would kill for an ability that negates sound, controls minds, and negates damage?!" Ravage exclaimed.

"Like how it stopped my Soul Slugger Doom Bat of Maximum Destruction?" Giovanni added. 

"Point being, you'd make for an inexperienced but promising Decepticon." Barricade finished as he leaned in towards the little girl. "You may look fragile and small, but I have experience molding little guys like you into engines of havoc. You just need the right push." 

"Huh?" Honestly, she could feel herself losing control of her life more than she already had.

"NO! I saw her first! My minion boy! Get your own! Take the cat for all I care!" Giovanni argued.

"HUH?!"

"We could just kill you and be done with it." Ravage proposed. "Then you can make your stupid gang."

"Nah, I need all the superpowered humans I can find. So, I'm promoting YOU..." He pointed his claw at the pink-haired one. "...to second-in-command."

Giovanni pouted and huffed, even kicked the barrier in anger, but he knew he was outclassed. "Fine. Fine! I didn't even want to be promoted in the Banzai Blasters! Ha-RUMPH...can I keep my minions?"

"All of them."

"Deal! For now, until I inevitably betray you..." He darkly chuckled before clearing his throat. "But first, minion boy-"

"She's a Decepticon now." 

"Whatever, gearface!" He yelled at Barricade before turning back to the kid. "You need a cool villain name. What's your real one?"

"Uh...Molly Blyndeff?"

This caused Giovanni to reel back. "Ugh! Sounds like the gross sweater your grandma knits for you on a really depressing Christmas."

"Or an earth-based drug. Believe me. Laserbeak would know." Ravage chuckled before getting closer to the smaller child. "Hmmm...I was thinking 'Mindbender', but there's something about that outer wear of yours that's got me thinking. Not to mention, you're kinda quiet. I like that."

"Yeah. I hear ya', pussycat." Giovanni put a finger to his chin. "She's got a little bear hoodie." She beamed at that one fact. All three villains in the room began to formulate all kinds of ideas before they all screamed at once-

"BEAR TRAP!" They all shouted before covering their mouths. 

"Jinx!" Giovanni spoke for everybody. 

Barricade nodded after that little embarrassment. "Not bad. From now on, your designation, Decepticon, is Bear Trap. Your job will most likely consist of getting yelled at while I call the shots. That is, unless you prove yourself to me. Just don't end up like Motorhead." He sighed deeply. "He was a good kid. He just reached way too far."

"Wait a sec! Where's MY cool Decepticon nickname?" Giovanni interjected. "I believe mine should be...Holy Mega-Death Galacstar Prime!" 

"...nah, too long. Your designation is Meat Shield." Barricade said, causing Ravage to chuckle.

"Don't even talk to me." Giovanni muttered. "Anyway, Bear Trap, find us a way out of here."

The little girl thought for a moment before she approached the barrier. You already know the moment. We'll skip over how she tricked Indus into lowering it and then leaving. Only Ravage also added that a bunch more Decepticons were on their way as well. So, the group was finally free, giving the robots time to stretch their legs. "I...don't feel really good about lying back there."

"Are you kidding? You stumbled for a moment there, but that was some expert Decepticon trickery there." Ravage complimented. "Granted, he was dumb as a pile of bolts, but you didn't even have to use your power!"

"With you as a fellow bad guy, you don't have to worry about lying anymore! The world is your oyster!" Giovanni agreed. 

"In other words, you're already on your way to impressing me." Barricade remarked.

"Thanks, I guess." Molly said. "Mr. Barricade, didn't you say you could turn into a car? Can I see it in action?"

"Yeah, big guy! Do it for the kid!" Giovanni agreed.

The Decepticon sighed. "Fine. But only because I've still got some energon on me. **TRANSFORM!** " With that, he shifted into his now beat-up police cruiser form. "Happy?"

"Can I look inside?" She asked again. Grumbling, he complied by opening his doors. When she it was in, she noticed he still had a functioning police reciever inside. "Let me see what this does." She turned it on, much to his surprise. "Hello, police?"

"Yes? How can we help you as our base is getting torn to pieces?" The voice on the other rend replied before Barricade's partially transformed arm pulled her out.

"RARG! **BARRICADE _TRANSFORM!_** " He yelled before fully transforming. "Don't you even think about betraying me like that! I'm not even going to ask why that's even tapped into the police station here, but still! You're lucky I'll go slightly easy on you for now."

"Besides, if you did call them, they'd arrest us all!" Giovanni pointed out.

"But I'm not a criminal." She protested.

"On Cybertron, just associating yourself with us would get you scrapped." Ravage said after she was plopped onto his back. "OW! Watch the spine!"

"Also, you just broke out of prison. BAM! Instant thug life!" The pink-haired crook added.

She had a horrified expression on her face at that. "You're right! I'm no better than the monsters I surround myself with! The name 'Decepticon' is all too appropriate! The mask they've offered me has become my face!"

"Like this symbol you'll need?" Barricade pressed a sticker on the top of her hoodie, proudly showing off the Decepticon symbol. He then threw one at Giovanni, managing to slap it onto his chest. "There you go. Bear Trap, Meat Shield, Ravage, listen up! We're busting out and we'll lay low for a while. Then, I think of some way to make these roads ours. Just like the good ol' days." He put his claws on his hips. "I can see it now..."

"Why would you want the roads?" Molly asked. "Is it some kind of monopoly you want on them or are you just love drag racing?"

He shrugged. "A little bit of both, mixed with giving authority a bad time." 

"What about you, Ravage? What do you wanna do?" Molly asked, preferring to speak with somebody her age, even if he was a terrifying metal one-eyed panther.

He actually had no answer. He just turned away, as if ashamed. "I don't wanna talk about it. I just...I need time to think."

"Coming right up!" Giovanni exclaimed. "You see, I have a better idea, obviously! What if we rescued my boys, stole that amulet, and sold it for a bunch of money?! We'd be the kings of the criminal underworld and, who knows, I'd be promoted at last!"

"There's not much to argue with when it comes to upward mobility. Not like I know what that's like." Molly remarked.

"Oh, uh, yeah! Words! Very important villain words!" The older guy said, fooling nobody. "But first, we need a place to recuperate, recalibrate, and re...whatever else we gotta do! Also, plan! A temporary hide-out..."

The Decepticons in the room could hardly argue. They weren't in the best of shape, so laying low seemed like the best option. "Fine. Lead the way, Meat Shield."

"Call me that AGAIN and I'll shove my bat up your tailpipes! Mark my words!" After saying some melodramatic goodbyes to his still-trapped teammates (and apologizing for their 'curse of heaviness'), he ran forth. 

As Barricade followed and gestured for the rest to do the same, Molly was still atop Ravage as he slunk his way to their destination. "So...I don't have many friends...but I can tell that you may need at least one." She said.

"Friends? Human, on my planet, you either have those who backstab you, those who yell at you, or those who shoot at you. And the very latter are the most reliable." He replied. "But it is kinda refreshing to find a human that I don't have to shoot at AND is extremely dependable."

"It's nice to be called that." She said, downcast. "Usually, I just don't get acknowledged entirely."

"Wow...I know what that's like too." Ravage's optic widened. "Is it from somebody you'd consider an important figure in your life?"

"Two. My dad and my sister." 

"I don't know what those things are, but the fact that they don't appreciate you for your powers? That's crazy! When I'm sent off for battle, I at least have an agenda given to me that's really special! But, again, I think they see me as a tool. You get used to it." He said sadly. She mumbled in agreement, leading them to awkwardly continue following the larger Decepticon...

_**"Epithet Erased. I guess."** _

_**Ginnny Koster** _

**_Epithet: None_ **

_*** Waiter and only resident of the "Heavenly Burger"** _

_*** Thick thighs save lives!** _

**_* I mean, take a hint, Megatron!_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for the messy upload. Chapter dates and all that.
> 
> Also, if it seems like I'm rushing through this first arc, it's because the next one truly goes off the rails. But hey. Feedback is nice to prevent this from getting dull.


	5. Megatron's Story

_**"Epithet Erased! Let's do this!"** _

_**Barricade** _

_**Epithet: None (Transforms into a police cruiser)** _

_*** Striking out on his own.** _

_*** The original Race Track Patrol consisted of himself, Ground-Hog, Motorhead, and Roller-Force.** _

_*** Only one he doesn't really miss is Roller-Force. Big speed junkie jerk...** _

_**Back with Megatron and Ginny...** _

Before the massive Decepticon began his story, he aimed his shotgun at a nearby dilapidated building and fired, creating a sizable hole in it that collapsed in on itself, becoming a hill of debris. The sparklings retreated back to Ginny from the noise, but, when the dust cleared, Megatron was sitting on the rubble, whatever remained of the building serving as a 'throne'. "Where do I begin, human? How about a time when humanity was at its infancy? Or maybe not even that?"

"I don't really mind. I've lived on a planet ruled by fear and silliness for all my life. I can take a few surprises." Ginny replied.

He rested further against his 'throne'. "I'm sure you can. Anyway...before your time began..." A perfect holographic image of what the warlord was describing projected from his working optic, though it was on the fritz for some time before stabilizing. "...there was The Cube, or, as we like to call it now...the Allspark."

Ginny stared at the cube-shaped object floating above the ground, watching as blue volts trailed around it. The sparklings reached for it, with some of the bolder ones even jumping for it and failing. "Settle down. He's trying to tell a story." She patted #1 on the head.

"More like history." Megatron clarified before clearing his throat. "It is said that it originated when our universe was first created. After many years, it activated, turning a lifeless world in the Andromeda Galaxy into a thriving world of steel and the life-essence known as energon." An image of Cybertron was shown in all of its monochrome glory, even going through some of the cities with their huge spires and weaving bridges. 

"It's...kinda bland." Ginny remarked, causing Megatron to slam his fist down.

"It is where WE were created! Your world is a mere speck compared to our own! But, for a while, no life existed except for ferocious creatures. So, the Allspark, as if possessing a will of its own, created 13 powerful beings known as The Primes and, with them, the Matrix of Leadership." That sharp-looking artifact was the next thing shown. "A symbol of power that contained the very essence of the Primes, essentially marking their birthright."

"As for the Primes themselves..." All of them were shown in a line, towering above everyone in the area. "All of them were enlightened with the knowledge of the universe and were granted the ability to make any race of Transformers of their choosing. For example, Micronus Prime created the child-like and playful minicons, while Onyx Prime helped establish wildlife and even a few, so we say, beast-formers. Solus Prime made the rarity known as the femmes, Liege Maximo created Pretenders-"

"Wait, wait, wait. I don't mean to interrupt and I don't want to offend you, but...why were there so little females made? I'm just curious." Ginny asked. "Of course, it's been beaten into our heads that all men are superior to women on this planet-"

"There will be no politics here." Megatron pointed a claw. "But, to answer your question, the Allspark was all we needed to propagate our race and produce sparkling eggs, though attachments were still made between us, regardless of what you might call 'gender'. But there was a catch. A newborn Cybertronian would always display violent tendencies, always cast into the gladiatorial pits of Kaon to see just how violent it would be. Half proved to be easily tamed but still hungering for destruction of their own kind, while the other half was more individualistic and cunning. Respectively, the Autobots and the Decepticons." The two different protoforms were shown side-by-side. 

Ginny actually looked appalled. "Why would they name a part of their race something so sinister?" She was obviously referring to the scarier looking Decepticon name and protoform. 

He sighed. "It's a bit ironic. Autobots were obsessed about looking 'civilized', yet they still harbored joy at the thought of getting into brutal fights, so long as they had a charismatic leader to rally behind. The name 'Decepticon' is actually one of pride. For instance, don't I just look like a mindless animal?!" He suddenly leaned forward, baring his teeth. "And yet, I am true to myself. I don't hide behind foolish self-imposed rules like the shame of walking around looking like I do. Neither do many Decepticons. We are proudly guilty of deceiving our own kind with the very truth rather than their delusions of what Transformer society should be." 

"I...guess that makes sense." Ginny sighed, still a bit confused. 

Megatron continued his story, showing two larger Primes. "But they knew they couldn't hold our hands forever. The first Prime to step forward was Alpha Trion, whom thought the Autobots would become more compassionate if they were given a leader or two. Therefore, he created the two Autobots known as Sentinel and Optimus. The first one was an inventor and most truthful to Autobot culture, while Optimus proved himself a passionate student that rallied his own kind with his charisma and speeches. Both were dubbed Primes themselves, though obviously lesser to their masters." The two large robots were shown, complete with their alt-modes.

Even Ginny was in awe of the machines before her, especially Optimus. "Did they bring peace to the whole planet?"

The warlord sighed heavily this time. "Maybe that was the plan. But the second of the 13 Primes that stepped forth had an idea for the Decepticon sub-race. His name was Megatronus and he was the most crafty and ambitious of them all. He created a brother to Sentinel and Optimus. A symbol. A revolutionary that would lead his people to the forefront of society and unite them all. Somebody who would change the status quo and usher in a glorious new age. Somebody like...me." His original look was shown atop a mound of bodies, raising a fist up.

"You...killed people?" Ginny softly asked. "Your own kind?"

"That was me in the arena, a popular rite of passage. Despite my violent upbringing, I found myself more at home with the sparklings. Such fragile and innocent creatures...I found myself relating with them due to my origins, for I had the capacity to question where I came from and what was my purpose." He picked up #3, giving him some spare energon from his tanker. "Despite being created from a separate Prime, me and Optimus became friends. We trained together and discussed philosophy as well, though he seemed to be more interested in what came out of his own mouth than listen to my ideas."

Ginny looked down. "I didn't have many friends growing up, but it's nice to see that you found somebody to talk to. Makes things a lot easier when you're stressed. Kind of like now."

He raised a claw to object, but he drew it back. "A fair point. But...then it happened. My master discovered a newfound way of giving energon to our people. Something to do with blowing up suns, to which his brothers agreed, but only if planet with inhabited life weren't going to be destroyed."

"Destroying suns?! That sounds like overkill!" She remarked. "Couldn't the Allspark make more energon?"

"When your race is as ravenous as my own, you'll understand. Anyway, Megatronus, the moment he and the Primes came to our universe's version of Earth, taught all Transformers what it meant to show real power. He betrayed his brothers and fought them by his lonesome, though he did sway several Primes to his side, so he could provide enough energon to power our planet for eternity, populated worlds be damned. No more was he Megatronus. Now...he was The Fallen." The eponymous machine formed, looming over everybody like the devil he was.

"He sounds pretty evil if that was the case. If he was left to his own devices, he would have killed scores of planets by blowing up suns willy nilly." Ginny pointed out.

"Like I said. Good and evil mean nothing when it comes to Cybertron." Megatron stated. "Eventually, like the cowards they were, the other Primes hid the Matrix of Leadership away by sacrificing themselves and ascending to another plane of existence while using their bodies to keep the Matrix away. The Fallen returned to Cybertron and informed us of the situation before, years later, he departed for another visit to Earth with a few select Decepticons."

Megatron looked to the sky with a prideful expression on his face. "It was with great honor that The Fallen chose me to be his personal student when he returned, teaching me all about how his sadism and brutality would help me usher in the new age. An age that had to happen now, for the Autobots found themselves free to do whatever they wished without the Primes looming over them. Sentinel set out to enslave us all, forcing them to make things like space bridges and the like to brainwash inhabited worlds to their side. My former ally, Optimus, had different ideas. He did...nothing. As if he knew about the war to come."

"Does this make you and the Decepticons freedom fighters? I mean, I don't think you should have been listening to somebody whom would blow up a sun just for some power." Ginny remarked. "I'm still not over that."

He chuckled in response. "Naive human. We Decepticons jumped at the opportunity to tear the Autobots apart. We Transformers are naturally violent, as you know, but the war that resulted from this skirmish tested every one of our resolves. Despite how unorganized the Decepticons were, I still managed to gain the role of leader as I led my troops into battle." He began to show various still images of him absolutely dominating the battlefield, reducing enemies to hot slag or just leaving them broken heaps. "Domination was our destiny. An end to Autobot rule."

"This...this is horrifying! And your'e talking about it so casually?!" She stood up, walking over to his throne as the sparklings followed. "I'm getting the feeling nobody really hugged you when you were little. Or any other Decepticon for that matter. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you all must be the saddest race ever!"

All the sudden, Megatron stepped out of his 'throne' and stared her dead in the eyes...and felt something rise up in his chest he never expected, much like the instrumentals coming in.

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCKDlAZrFJM>

He raised a claw first. "Yes, yes... _I see what's happening here..._ "

Ginny raised a brow. "Wait, what?"

" _You're face to face with greatness and it's strange. You don't even know how to feel. It's adorable! Well, it's nice to see that humans never change!_ "

He started to walk around her. " _Open your eyes. Let's begin! Yes, it's me. HAIL MEGATRON! Breathe it in. I know it's quite much; the teeth, the GUN!_ " He raised his shotgun at a random statue of Theresa. " _...when you're staring at a Decepticon!_ "

BANG!

He leaned in again after that. " _What can I say except 'You're welcome'? For the Autobots shot from the sky! Yes, it's okay, it's okay, you're welcome! I won't rest until they all finally die! Hey!_ " 

Without warning, he picked her up and flexed his claw. " _What has two claws that broke many a neck, before humans ripped out my tech? THIS MECH!_ " He then turned to the sparklings. " _When the nights got cold, who unleashed fire from down below? You're looking at him, so..._ "

He doubled over in pain when his injuries caught up with him again, but he regained his balance. " _OH! Also, I stabbed Rodimus' heart! You're welcome! To bring you all a brand new start!_ " He said to the Sparklings before turning to Ginny again. " _Also, I saved the Constructicons! You're welcome. To strengthen our whole army's bonds!_ " 

He now walked around with them, the Sparklings even dancing and Megatron spinning around as Ginny held onto his claw. " _What can I say except 'You're welcome'? For my righteous murderous spree! All more reason to pray, to pray, you're welcome! HA! I won't apologize for being me! You're welcome! You're welcome!_ " He set Ginny down as he put a claw to his chin. "Well, come to think of it..."

Megatron stomped his foot as many images were shown from his optic. "Human, honestly, I could go on and on. I can explain Cybertron's current phenomenon. The rust, the decay, the ground? Yes, that was Megatron messing around. I killed Huffer. I ripped out his guts! They had the audacity to call me nuts! What's the lesson? What is the takeaway? PANIC AND FLEE WHENEVER MEGATRON'S ON THE BREAKAWAY! And the scars adorning my skin...is a map of the victories I win! Look where I've been! I make everything happen! Look at that robot, truck, robot, truck, robot, TRUCK, ROBOT! HEY!" He transformed over and over again as the others nervously backed away until he calmed down.

Now, he picked her up again, only she was prepared this time. The sparklings danced a clumsy jig as well. " _Well, anyway, let me say'You're welcome'...for the devastation I know! Yes, it's okay, it's okay, you're welcome...what else do even have to show?! I'm on the rampage, rampage, you're welcome...because there must be something more! To rule, I'll find a way, a way, you're welcome...because now what am I even fighting for?! You're welcome! You're welcome!_ " He raised his shotgun up. "All hail Megatron, fleshlings." 

BANG!

It was then that he realized that something was wrong. Shaking his head, he looked at Ginny again. "What did I just do in the last two minutes?"

"Did you know you sing really good? Also, I think you tried to sell me on your long destructive career. I mean....good effort?" She shrugged nervously, prompting him to sigh and sit back on his throne.

"Whatever the case, it was a glorious time. But all good things must end." He glowered. "For the Allspark had gone missing. However that happened, it was lost in the void of space, rendering our race on the brink of extinction. The war had shown a side that none of us wanted. It had ruined the planet, but there was a silver lining. We Decepticons were actually winning the war! Even Sentinel came to us, begging for my assistance for the sake of the planet! But, even with victory at hand, I knew that our planet couldn't survive without the Allspark, the Matrix, and all the energon that came with it. The both of us reached an agreement, in which he would construct an giant ship to escort Decepticons to a safe place until a solution was found."

"Didn't the rest of the Autobots want a truce if your planet was dying?" Ginny asked again.

He narrowed his optics. "NO. Unlike Sentinel, whom I know just wanted things back to the way they were, Optimus had effectively become the leader of the Autobots and he THRIVED on the war. He preferred the conditions of being a war hero and destroying Decepticons left and right. I could emphasize, but I had an agenda! Actual change to Cybertron! So, there I was. Both Autobot leaders agreed on the same thing, but they wanted two different eras, while I just wanted something different and, above all, a means to save my race and all the sparklings that were dying out without the Allspark. So, I went on a solo trip to seek out the Allspark, no matter the cost."

Ginny was about to speak again, but he softly raised a claw. "Yes, yes. I know. I should have brought some soldiers with me. Even Starscream, my sycophantic second-in-command, would have been an ideal choice. At least I spared them from the fate that befell me. For everything truly went wrong when I arrived on Earth..." His claws sunk into the 'throne', his expression darkening. "I crash landed into the frozen Antarctic wastes, trapping me for thousands of years with only my thoughts as company." The sparklings whimpered when they noticed his discomfort, prompting him to pick up #2. "I was meant to be a savior. A hero. And yet..."

"So, how did you get out?" Ginny had a feeling she was going to dread the answer, given his apparent hatred of humanity.

"That's where YOUR kind comes in." Yep. That just confirmed it. "A human of the Whitwickey line found my remains, along with his team of humans. I attempted to communicate with him by sending him information of the Allspark into his glasses, foolishly thinking they would comply. They...they freed me, but froze me _again._ They began to TEAR away at my body. They treated me as if I was just a cosmic pile of trash meant to be scavenged and utilized to build their USELESS machines! They literally used me to build the bedrock of their technology! _**WHILE I WAS AWARE OF IT ALL HAPPENING!**_ " He was roaring at this point, feeling all of that hate and rage from many years ago return with a vengeance. 

Ginny suddenly ran forth and rested a hand against his leg, grabbing his attention. "Sorry, it's just...you need to calm down. They're not here. I am." Black pupils met red optics before he settled down again.

"Very well. Suffice to say, their race was going to pay...but I remembered my mission and, thankfully, I was not totally forgotten by the disorganized Decepticon cause. I would later learn that we Decepticons won the war and had the Autobots integrate into our society, with the enigmatic Soundwave taking over as leader. But Starscream, fool that he might have been, led a team of veterans to Earth in search of me. It took them years, but Blackout, my most loyal soldier, finally took the initiative to start a campaign to find my location on the planet. Before I knew it, I was free to find the Allspark and destroy the Autobots that still believed in Optimus Prime's cause, himself included."

The waitress below sighed. "This is the part where you say you still fought despite both wanting to save your race...right?"

"Again, no. Optimus didn't want the Allspark to save his race. If he wanted to use it to wipe out the Decepticons, that would mean ending all of Cybertron's life, for we were the majority now. They were the minority. And he couldn't stomach that idea. He wanted to DESTROY the Allspark in a sort of murder-suicide, if you will. Our race meant nothing to him. Not to mention, he claimed an infuriating sense of moral superiority by defending those wretched humans. I'm pretty sure he did that just to anger me. Yet, when we restarted our battle, it was a human that destroyed the Allspark by shoving it into my chest." He growled at that memory. "Sam...another Whitwickey...I was killed and our race was doomed. All hope was lost due to Autobot pride and human stupidity."

"You...died." She processed. "And yet, here you are. Did you get rebuilt?"

He gave a bitter smirk. "Transformed. Amazingly, I still had allies living on Earth and they set to work reviving me with a shard of the Allspark. Never before have I felt such burning anger upon living once more. All I could think about was slaughtering the one who had slain me. But then I remembered. My master, The Fallen, still lived, so I set about visiting my dying planet to learn that he had a plan to revitalize our planet with energon using the Matrix of Leadership and the destruction of the sun. The rest...I'd rather not speak of. Just more failure that I've grown numb to. Though, I did manage to kill Optimus at last, but he was revived as I was, even after I shot that miserable Sam."

He suddenly looked appalled. "What if...when I killed Sam during that fateful battle in Egypt...the Allspark had fully merged with him? He showed the signs and...had the Allspark become a new being? No, no...it's impossible." He shook his head before scraping his scar. "The newly revived Optimus, on the other hand, embraced his savagery, did THIS to me...and killed my master. The Fallen was no more and all me and Starscream could do was retreat, leaving many dead Decepticons behind. And now, look at me." He stood up to show himself off. "Derelict, ruined, scarred, a failure to his race, lost without his God...defeated. At least, for now." He growled that last part. "One day, I will have my revenge, but, for now, I'll make due by claiming this planet for the Decepticon cause."

"And then what?" Ginny asked. 

"...what?"

"After you take over the planet and maybe destroy the Autobots, then what? You might become miserable again after all's said and done." She explained. "That's the funny thing about revenge. The moment you have it and all the power you could want, you still feel miserable."

"And how would you know?" Megatron grimaced.

"Mostly by example. You remember what I said about Theresa, right? Despite having all the fame and adoration one could ask for, she only whines and even bullies to pass the time. That's a sign of an unhappy heart. Maybe, before you decide to go conquering again, and you shouldn't, you could go back to your roots." She lifted up #4 for emphasis. "Soften up that spark of yours. You've got nothing else to lose. Believe me. I've been there."

Megatron pondered her words before turning his head away. "I never said I wasn't going to ensure their survival, but it's my purpose to lead! To conquer! To upend society! It will be me! IT WILL ALWAYS BE ME!" He roared before clearing his throat. "But, for now, I suppose you can assist me in teaching these sparklings tricks of the trade. Ensure that they do not go hungry while I mold them into the first soldiers of my new army. Not that I'll have to put much effort in conquering a planet of humans, even if the leader possesses great power. If there's one sin I can never forgive myself for, it's giving up."

She looked at the sparklings and back to him. "Or maybe you could teach them how to be the bigger robots and not start wars, but help others instead. The exact opposite of those you fought and those who tore into you. I know you feel wronged and lost, but sometimes...you just gotta let it go. Eventually, good things will happen to you. For example, I've lived my whole life essentially ignored by everybody, even my own husband, and here I am, with people to talk to."

Megatron just sat back against his throne and let out a heavy vent. "A true warrior exists on the battlefield. What do you want me to become? A non-entity? And what good things? It's been nothing but a conga-line of embarrassments." He stood up and walked over to the Heavenly Burger. "But enough dwelling on the past. Let's look to an Autobot-less future. THAT'S the one good thing now." He grabbed a shake through the hole he had made in the place and raised it up. "Hail Megatron!"

The sparklings shrieked in approval. "Um...hail Megatron too!" She then sat next to him and looked up. "Do you feel better now?"

The warlord looked back down and gave a slight shrug. "Actually...yes. Human, you may be, but it was...refreshing to get that off of my chest. Consider this a high honor." He almost flinched when she patted him on the side.

"It was refreshing too." She replied before offering the sparklings a shake of their own to share. Megatron didn't know why he reacted that way. What was about these humans that was so confusing?! One moment, they were cruel scavengers. The next, mindless servants of the Autobots that used deadly authority (like how they annihilated Devastator despite him not exactly being combat-ready). And the next, sweet and kind like this one. Could it be he could see himself becoming...friends with this lowly vertebrate? 

She questioned his methods, yet she did not truly condemn him. She knew of his checkered past and hate, yet she emphasized with him nonetheless. She was recipient to his threats, yet she did not show overt fear. Could it be that she was more damaged than he thought? Damaged...like himself.

Suddenly, the group heard a motorcycle roll up to the place. Megatron reached for his shotgun in case it was a threat. The figure riding atop the thing was obviously female, given her sleek but athletic frame, as well as a sizable chest. "Lookin' to end Theresa's reign? Finally. Some guy has the balls, even if it's some crazy old man from outer space." She spoke in an African-American accent, her helmet obscuring her features. 

Megatron wanted to shoot this intruder on sight, but, upon hearing those words, lowered his shotgun. Loathe as he was to admit it, he was appreciative of getting all the help he could get. And he was certainly going to, given what he would have to fight off against eventually...

_**"...Epithet Erased."** _

_**Megatron**_

_**Epithet: None (Transforms into a busted-up rig)** _

_*** Turns out, his singing voice is pretty good.**_

_*** Great with the kids, too!**_

_*** It will be him. It will ALWAYS BE HIM!-Quote taken from whenever he played Candyland.**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while. Coronvavirus and all that. Stay home and stay safe, folks! Either way, hope this proved to be a little entertaining. Bet you can't get the image of Hugo Weaving singing out of your head.
> 
> Either way, if anybody read the PDF, one would understand why the Transformers are such a messed up race, Autobot, Decepticon, or otherwise. And, as this fanfic goes along, in terms of Megatron and Ginny, it'll be one angelic figure to the other...


	6. Nighty Nightmare!

_**Epithet Erased...we're still doing this?! Good grief!"** _

_**Ravage** _

_**Epithet: None (Transforms into a missile)** _

_*** Does not like Tom and Jerry jokes.** _

_*** Does not like when you point out his spinal injury.** _

_*** Does not like YOU.** _

_**Sweet Jazz Museum, Nature Exhibit...** _

"Behold! FORT COOL GUYS!" Giovanni exclaimed, showing off the whole rather wide place as he, Molly, and the two Decepticons settled down. "Does it live up to its name or what?"

"...it's sufficient." Barricade growled, the pink-haired one's behavior not really endearing himself to the mech.

"Kinda relaxing." Ravage admitted, looking at the jellyfish in the middle, floating in a bright blue tube. Molly also got a look, both of their heads moving in tandem as they watched the biggest jelly float on by. "They have these all over Earth?"

"Only in the deep ocean. I'm glad we live in a port-city." The human girl said before noticing the two bear statues in the room. "Uh, this place is great, but why did we have to steal the statues?"

Giovanni scoffed. "Please, don't look into it. Stealing's for good guys and we're SO not good! I mean, really. Do I have to say anything?" He whispered as he noticed Barricade giving him the stink-optic. "Come on! They're our guardians!"

"They're lifeless taxidermy statues. Get your processor checked." Ravage growled, still aching in the back. "Okay, this is getting old. I need repairs stat!"

"How do you think I feel?" Barricade grumbled. "I guess you wanna make these guys official Decepticons, don't you?" He joked at Giovanni's expense.

He just threw up his arms. "I guess! Being Banzai Blasters is more of their speed."

"Then...we could always give them uniforms." Still willing to play along with the friendlier pink-haired one's suggestion, Molly got out a kit full of sewing materials, causing Ravage to eye it curiously. "Oh, it's for when my dad accidentally breaks stuff, which is...often. But it's great to have around anyway." She started to knit a Decepticon symbol almost perfectly.

"I know, right? I have one of my own!" Giovanni said before he realized he put his foot in his mouth. "I-I-I mean I don't! I...knit." 

"What's the difference?" Ravage joked, looking to humiliate him, despite not having a grasp on either concept.

"PLENTY! It's an art!" He yelled back.

"I never really took you for the crafting type." Molly said before turning to Barricade, whom was now resting against a wall. "What about you? Don't you have any hobbies?"

He titled his head before looking away. "Not interested. All that really matters is that we come up with a plan and NOT waste time with stupid Earth traditions. I mean, what does one even DO with a needle like that?"

"Stab people?" Ravage suggested before Giovanni raised his knitting needle.

"That's only one half of what I've got...destruction and creation!" The man-child began to switch poses between being nice and gentle like a grandmother, and then a poor imitation of a ninja with the sharp object.

Ravage growled in a way that seemed like he was sighing in defeat before turning to Molly. "Can we just ditch him? He's already shaping up to be a pathetic Decepticon."

"Kind of like me, considering that I-"

"No, no, no. Don't doubt yourself. We saw what you can do. I know you can do good for the cause." He encouraged the other kid before sitting on all fours. "You...you can relax all you want. Planning doesn't need THAT much vitriol."

"He's right." Barricade sighed. "I'd rather not have a huge headache. So, let's get around and think of something beyond 'smash through a wall in our broken states'." Though Ravage still seemed hostile to the idea of sharing space with the so-called 'deserter', he nodded, right as Giovanni finished making yellow versions of the Decepticon symbols. "You gotta be...fine. Whatever works."

Molly watched as Giovanni beamed at this work, with him also relieved that the two robots didn't chew him out for making that color alteration. Come to think of it, yelling aside...they all didn't seem so bad. Any other guy would have written her off as either annoying, not interesting, or just a downer to be ignored. Not these guys. And now this was happening..."Excuse me?"

"Yes/Yeah?" Both Barricade and Giovanni answered.

"...are you guys secretly nice?"

While the Decepticons just looked at each-other in confusion at that statement, Giovanni took it personally. "What?! No! A million times no! Come on, guys! Tell her how it is! We're not good at all!"

"...no. We're not." Ravage looked down. "Never were. Never will."

"I don't mean like...good-good, but nice." Molly clarified.

Barricade just scoffed. "That's a laugh. Me. Being nice. I mean...I just do what I do." 

As Molly took that in, Giovanni whispered into her ear. "I bet they're ACTUALLY nice. I mean, I know you get my knitting thing, being a COOL minion, but them...they're not laughing at me for once...but seriously. Still may betray them." With that, he quickly slapped a newly made Decepticon symbol for the Polar Bear, one that was red/black. "Great! Now, the next compromise! We admit this fort and our new guardians as members of the DECEPTICON division of the Banzai Blasters! Maybe we can get our own membership fee to force onto others!"

"Membership fee?" Molly asked, confused.

"Hmmm...maybe." Barricade rubbed his chin. "Would be nice to keep the new gang exclusive somewhat."

"Again! WHY are you doing this, moving on to simple street gangs?! Where's your Decepticon pride?!" Ravage exclaimed. 

"Says the Minicon getting comfortable with the human girl." He pointed as a Giovanni was explaining what it meant to be part of the Blasters...which involved, you guessed it, a pyramid scheme. Something that the larger Decepticon overheard. "You know, when I take over the streets, we won't deal with that kind of scrap. Just join, grab a weapon, and begin. Simple as that."

"But how are they supposed to know it's a LEGIT bad guy organisation?! You gotta make it a scam somehow!" The pink-haired man argued. "We are NOT savages!"

"Well, if we're no longer at war AND WE ARE..." Ravage clarified. "...then, yeah. Scamming the pants off of people would at least ensure we don't go hungry for energon."

Giovanni, however, noted something was off about Molly. "Hold up. How do YOU know what a pyramid scheme is? Aren't you, like, 'five'?"

Even Barricade had to wonder. What was a human child doing talking about those sort of things and KNOWING what she was talking about? Was she smarter than she let on? Another so-called epithet of hers? He simply had to know. "Yes. Explain." Ravage titled his head, also curious.

Molly looked downcast, a bit uncomfortable with sharing this info, but it was a matter of fact, so it wasn't much to hide. "Given that I have to run a toy-store, I have to know about common business practices. It just comes with the territory."

"You? Running an establishment at 5?" Barricade quizzically looked at her. 

"Yeah, kinda rough, if you ask me." Giovanni winced.

"Yeah, well, it prepares you for the real world. You're gonna get dragged into back-breaking work no matter what." The Decepticon stated. "Unless you really wanna break out of it. That's what being a Decepticon is partly about." Ravage looked away, as if taking issue with that last statement.

Still, Molly looked downcast. "It's not that simple...and I'm 12. But it is rough...and I have to do it. No matter what."

The three just stared at her before Giovanni sat on the bench at the place, patting the other side. "Wanna talk about it? We won't judge. Right?" He pointedly asked the robots.

"This is about family, isn't it?" Ravage said softly before settling down next to Molly, giving her space, but still being next to her. "I know what that's like. Go right ahead. I'm not strong enough to talk about my...situation, though."

"Nobody blames you for that. Not even me." Barricade sighed before sitting down. "Alright. Lay it on us. What's got you down?" To his own surprise, his voice was going from commanding and harsh to...soft and still deep. But she was just a human child! Sure, a powerful one and very agreeable, but...

Speaking of uncertainty, Molly wasn't quite in the know why everybody was okay with her getting close like this. "Come on! We were still sewing, and sewing time is bonding time! That's why they call it 'close-knit'!" Giovanni suggested.

"Plus, it kinda sucks to see you in a bad mood. I won't lie. You've got that...look to you." Ravage said. "Kinda reminds me of mine." He looked to the side as he too got up on the bench, but left enough room for Molly, whom also sat down as Barricade relaxed, secretly sharing the same sentiment.

And so, Molly told her story, which you're all duly...and empathetically familiar with. But something about what she said was setting Barricade off. He didn't exactly know what it was like to lose a family member, considering Cybertron wasn't really big on that sort of thing. He did know, however, what it was like to lose those close to you and have things be thrown out of order. But Molly's sire and her sibling...how they just ignored her tragedy and just expected her to keep working to the point of absurdity...

Barricade was no doubt an awful person. He had maimed, cursed, destroyed, taunted, and killed many in his life. Scores of Autobots laid dead at his feet and he was something of a coward at heart, if Mission City was any indication. And yet, this story made him want to drop everything else and MAIM those fools himself. For ignoring what should have been most precious to them. Such a hard-worker...wasted on those buffoons.

Ravage, on the other hand, was less subtle about how he felt, feeling coolant around his eyes. "I'm not very appreciated...either." He admitted, but he kept his mouth shut on the rest of the details. Awkwardly, he rested a paw on her shoulder, surprising the both of them.

"Oh...thanks, Ravage." She said with a small smile. "You don't have to feel too bad. I'm sorry."

"But we...we really do." Giovanni said softly, feeling extremely bad for this kid right now. "Because...you're kind of a push-over."

"Yes. Very. Too soft." Barricade said, optics narrowing not at her, but at her situation.

"I'm so-"

"NO! Do not say that! Do you see what we mean?" The Decepticon stood up, despite his injuries. "Letting those scrapheads dictate your life because they won't bother to get off of their afts?! What kind of dynamic is that?!"

"And the whole 'she may need it' stuff with that creepy lady earlier, with you giving up your epithet?!" Ravage added.

"Yeah! What is that crap?! All of it! People can't just step all over you all of the time because you think you're lesser than them!" Giovanni raised a finger. "You're just as important as everybody else!" Now, that really got Molly's attention.

Barricade continued for him. "Under Megatron's reign, we either lived or died by his orders, but there comes a time where you need to stand up for yourself and look out for your spark. Is it disloyal? Well, when those orders border on bullscrap, you need to make that decision. Doesn't mean I'll allow you to get too screwy with me, but you get my drift."

"Yeah! Like my minions! They're all important to me! YOU'RE very important to me that way!" Giovanni continued. "To that end, I've gotta make sure my boys work to the best of their effort and can handle things when I'm not around! So, what do you say?"

"No!" Molly shouted before smiling at the kind words.

"That's the spirit! I mean, I am your boss, so we're gonna have to work on that." He replied.

"The point is..." Barricade moved in closer, resting his head on his claw. "It's about time you grew yourself a better pair of supporting servos. You and I? The combined power will make sure nobody will try to tell us what to do anymore. The whole planet, maybe...can be our personal drag race area." He actually didn't believe he was actually saying all of this. Since when could he hope again after EVERYTHING he had been through during the war, before and after?

But nobody had it worse than Ravage. Despite giving encouragement earlier, he let out a loud roar before calming down after that spooked everyone. "Sorry, it's just...good grief, I have issues. It's just...Molly, that tale really hit close to home. Like...right through the spark..." He looked away. Even Barricade was getting a good idea that this Minicon wasn't as mindlessly loyal to Soundwave after all. Something was clearly up and it already filled his processor with some grisly images.

"Well...whatever. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, we'll strive to be the strongest bad guy IN THE WORLD! Hahahaha! The perfect combo of Epithet-Users and machines! We outta start a toyline based on it! Like...uh...Transmorphers! That outta-"

  
"NO." Both Decepticons glared, though they had no idea why that name set them off. Could be for many reasons (look it up, we dare you).

Suddenly, they all heard footsteps from the other side of the ring-like area. "Well, well, well...I was expecting the infamous Banzai Blasters, but not really the tale of two giant robots sharing with them personal information." A young-sounded male voice interrupted them, causing them to turn to the source of it. "Trying to steal the Arsene Amulet, no?"

"What's it to you, human?" Ravage growled, sensing the orange-haired bespectled boy in the lab-coat was trouble, his spear-like tail rising and with him wishing his machine-gun attachments worked properly.

"I'd say you CRIMINALS were getting in the way of MY research...but I see this as a new opportunity. Just how do you strange beings work when faced with circumstances far beyond your control." Sylvie, the 15-year old in question, stated, tilting his glasses up. "I'll not only find this out, but I'll make sure you don't steal the object of my research."

Barricade raised a brow over his optic before giving a growl of his own. "You and what army, kid?"

"Yeah! What are you gonna do about it, KID?" Giovanni further taunted.

"I'M NOT...not like you would get it. I mean, seriously. I shouldn't have to do this over and over again." The nerdy one sighed as he caused golden dust to rain from the sky slowly. While it seemed to be having an effect on the humans in the room, the two Decepticons just looked confused.

"You're gonna stop us...with special effects?" Barricade said slowly, wondering if this glasses-wearing organic was brain damaged or something. "Nothing's really stopping me from just coming over there and reducing you to a stain on the exhibits."

"Or pouncing on you and putting your insides on the outside. I mean...this is sad." Ravage added before they looked back at Giovanni. In the time it took for the two robots to talk and stand around in confusion, Giovanni had whipped out his 'demonic energy aura', which was just a dispelling trick involving soup steam. "Seriously. That...does smell good."

"Just another one of my surprises, I assure you." Giovanni said proudly before kneeling before Molly. "Now, since you're MY minion boy, you get to know about my secret techniques."

"Like the one you inflicted on me that one time, Meat Shield?" Barricade growled. "Apparently, you hit me 13 times, the last hit nearly scrambling my systems. By the way, you owe me BIG time for that." He clenched his claw, already thinking of ways to order around Meat Shield.

"FIRST, my name is NOT Meat Shield! Call me that and you lose an eye out of four! But, yeah. 13 is my lucky number. See what I did there?" He smirked at Molly. "Wonder if this guy will make it past hit 1!"

"Heh. I know, right?" Ravage chuckled before scratching against the ground, preparing the charge. "Or, you know, if he can survive tons of pressure against his skull..."

"Isn't that...over-doing it?" Molly asked.

"Nah! Way worse stuff happens on the battlefield. Way worse..." The minicon shuddered, still remembering what almost became of his spine.

"COUNTING SHEEP!" Sylvie shouted, knowing he had to step up his game with these beings. All of his power was most likely gonna need utilizing, so why not the herd of his eternally large conjured sheep army? 

Despite Molly's panic at the sudden herd, Giovanni and the robots were unaffected. "This is it?! That's it! Why am I just standing around?!" Barricade roared before running towards the incoming horde, unable to transform, but ready to barrel through all of this unleashed ungulates. Moving past a "lava grenade" sent by Giovanni, he started to barrel through the nibblers, with them unable to stop him.

Sylvie's confidence faded, causing him to whip out a sling-shot. "GAH! I hope this works! Maybe, deep within that metal shell, there's something you're afraid of! Nightmare Fuel!" With that, he shot a big orb at his face, causing him to be blinded momentarily. The boy screamed when Ravage came leaping at him before firing a second shot that sent him to the ground.

While Molly and Giovanni dealt with the onslaught of sheep, Barricade rubbed his optics. "When I get my claws on you, I'm gonna...gonna..." He took a step back as his optics widened in horror at the monstrosity forming in front of it. It was like a giant snake, only it was made from the bodies of various destroyed Decepticons, including his Race Track Patrol Gang...all dead and mangled, but some were still moaning! The thing reared up before the upper half became something far worse...

Optimus Prime. The leader of the Autobots and an utter savage on the battlefield. His upper half rested on the abomination, looking at him with such hate. And that's before he spoke. "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" He shouted, his arms revealed to have the faces of various Decepticons nailed onto them before he stretched them after the trembling enforcer.

"NO! Frag no! That ain't real! Auuugh!" He retreated before being tackled by the thing. He managed to kick it away, but it still came after him. Eventually, it grabbed his body with its tail and dragged him towards the upper half, where Fake Optimus attempted to grasp around his face, as promised. "Get off of me! Get off!" He kicked the beast in the groin, making it let go, but it still chased after him, his busted-up body barely keeping up.

Ravage was so busy staring at that bizarre sight that he didn't notice a Nightmare Fuel bomb lobbed at him. After clearing away the smoke, he noticed something flying down. Something sattelite-shaped and sounding VERY angry and guttural. "Minicon Ravage...you have failed for the last time..." The Minicon shuddered as he backed away like a frightened kitten. He knew EXACTLY who had come.

**<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCfQ8gUfMl0> **

Soundwave. At least, in his sattelite mode. Transforming into his robot mode, he aimed his wings and sound-blaster gun at him, staring with his searing red mono-eye. "This unit is of no more use. Prepare to be terminated."

"NO! Soundwave! It's not my fault!" Ravage begged as he ran away from the sound-blasts coming from the walking monstrosity of metal that was his old master. "I didn't mean to fail! I can try again! I promise!"

"No second chances for failures. They have no place with me." He narrowed his mono-optic before continuing to fire.

"A little help, guys?!" Giovanni yelled and he and Molly attempted to fend off the sheep, but they were quickly interrupted when the Fake Optimus and Fake Soundwave came barreling at them, still going after the Decepticons, but putting them in the crossfire as well. "Are you kidding me?! When could the squirt do that?!"

"I don't know! I'm freaking out right now!" Molly exclaimed before Barricade was thrown into the wall behind her. Ravage followed suit, whimpering as he cowered from Fake Soundwave.

Sylvie wasn't done yet. Far from it. "Excellent. My Nightmare Fuel bombs are working better than normal. It's almost as if the robot-related hallucinations are more violent than even I could command. But what'll seal the deal even more?" He fired another at Molly's head, causing flames to surround our heroes, with the fake Cybertronian monsters within the fires like demons of Hell.

"What the crap?! Will you stop escalating?!" Giovanni shouted.

"This...this isn't happening..." Barricade breathed. "Somebody make it stop! I want to keep my face, thank you very much!"

"No...Soundwave...don't hurt me again..." Ravage whimpered, cowering his head under his paws. However, he and the others noticed that Molly was suffering an utter panic attack. The fires...they reminded her of just WHAT ruined everything for her family. Plus, she remembered all too well how much the fires could hurt you if you got even a tiny bit close...she just kept uttering 'no' at a rapid pace until she was a breathing mess.

Still, the doctor was relatively ignorant. "Alright, you all are gonna stay there and I'll keep the fires and monsters where they are until the police arrive. Or the special forces, considering how tough your machines are. Still...the phobia with the larger robot is hard to pinpoint, but the jaguar? Perhaps a case of an abusive relationship? Hm. I almost feel bad."

"Make them go away! MAKE THEM GO AWAY!" Ravage begged Barricade. "I won't try to kill you for deserting! I'll do anything! Just make them stop!" He pointed at the Fake Soundwave behind the flames, who now started laughing a demonic laugh. Fake Optimus just roared something else about faces, cutting through the flames with his arms in his rage.

"Shut up! I'm thinking!" He roared before noticing the trembling human girl under him. She was holding onto the hemp of Giovanni's cape and using it to cover herself while also resting against the Decepticon's leg. She shook like a leaf, crying as well.

"Giovanni...Barricade...help me..." She wept.

Normally, the Decepticon enforcer would have pushed her away, dismissing her as soft. But who was he to talk? His worst fears made manifest were within the flames. It was giving him, of all things, introspection. The fright they shared was real, but hearing her like this...something in his spark started to beat again. Not only a regained sense of empathy, but also hate. Hate for the one who brought his loyal Decepticon down like this. Hate for bringing HIMSELF down to this level. He rested a claw over her, looking beyond the flames and Fake Optimus with determination.

Ravage was also moved by this display. All of the pain...the self-doubt...all Soundwave's doing...but he was bonded to him! So there was nothing he could do...right? No. He could at least make sure Molly wasn't a part of this family drama. She didn't deserve it! "Guys...we gotta think of something. Fast!"

"You're right." Giovanni said, voice devoid of any humor or fake machismo. Only stone-cold rage and protectiness was in it as he carried Molly in his arms, with Barricade hovering over them to shield them from the flames. "Thanks, bud. Because lemme tell you something, KID..." He pointed at Sylvie. "You made my minion cry...NOBODY makes my minion cry except me!"

"And just HOW do you expect to just run through the flames?" Sylvie taunted.

Barricade looked at Ravage and nodded, giving a few hand signals with his free claw. Though the minicon was reluctant, he nodded as well before the robot turned to the Fake machines. "Meat Shield...find a way to stop this. I'm going in."

Ignoring that name again, the soup-epithet wielder started to build up soup steam around him to propel himself. But the flames were getting higher...until both Decepticons roars and pushed themselves forward, covering the flames with their bodies enough to give Giovanni enough space to propel himself and Molly into the air and onto Fort Cool Guys.

"What the heck?!" Sylvie shouted, losing control of the Fake robots for a while, giving Barricade enough time to go after Fake Soundwave instead of his own fear. He punched through the former Autobot's chest before swinging his arm up and tearing the upper half in two, causing the vision to dispel. Ravage just stabbed his tail into Fake Optimus' face after lunging at it, ripping it off in the process.

"Yeah! Suck it, Prime!" Ravage cheered before the flames returned, forcing him to jump on top of Fort Cool Guys. Barricade just moved closer to it, the flames tickling his legs, though he didn't care much for damages to his body.

"Whoot! We made it!" Giovanni said before high-fiving both Ravage and even a somewhat reluctant Barricade, before withdrawing his slightly burned hand. "AH! Hot! Hot! Still worth it!"

"Th...thank you." Molly said to all three.

"Nah, don't mention it. You're my minion now." Giovanni said kindly.

"Yeah. Just...don't mention it." Barricade sighed, the sight of Molly's smiling face doing weird things to his spark again. What was this feeling?! Was empathy THAT weird to have?!

"No problem." Ravage looked to the wrecked remains of the destroyed Fake Soundwave and sighed. "Maybe some day...but not today." He patted Molly on the head. "I'm not used to the whole 'comfort' thing, but...yeah. Hope you're okay there." Much like Barricade, he felt that rush as well, only with less resistance.

"It's fine. I'm just glad we're finally-"

"AND NOW FOR PAYBACK!" Ravage interrupted the little girl as he lunged for Sylvie, ignoring the pain in his back. Despite the flames and the sudden attack by the bear statues that the doctor had brought to life through another round of nightmare fuel, he slammed him against the ground, snarling and roaring at him with utter fury. "Ready to get shredded, punk?!"

"Time out! Time out!" He cried out as he now conjured up a nightmare fuel ball in his hand and attempted to shove it into the minicon's one optic. Not willing to go through the hell of Fake Soundwave again, it was now a game of him dodging the human's surprisingly quick arm as he tried to get a bite in. 

As Barricade fended off the bears (while they complained about wanting higher ranks), Giovanni had already begun his plan of using his 13-hit super move. "Hey, kitty! I know you like yarn, but DUCK!" He shouted before hitting his yarn ball with his soul-crusher bat, causing it to rocket towards the fighting duo.

"What?! That's just a my-" The Minicon was interrupted when the yarn nailed Sylvie in the head, dispelling the illusions. "Huh. Nice work. I mean, I had him, but..."

"But nothing. Better to just bean the nerd instead of...you know. Shred him." Giovanni shrugged.

"Plus, I don't think any of us needs to see any blood." Molly agreed.

"Ugh. Must you humans be so soft?" Barricade growled, but he conceded. "Yeah. He looks too pathetic. Ravage, stand down."

Though still kind of reluctant, the Minicon backed away, tail still in the air. A few conflicting thoughts were running through his processor, especially with regards to listening to the 'deserter', but there were more important things to attend to.

Like the fact that Sylvie had gone...still. "You think you can just...TAKE whatever you want and humiliate me all the while?" He said in a dangerously low voice. "That's it! No more Mr. Nice Doctor!" He adjusted his glasses. "I have no choice but to use my ULTIMATE attack!" Letting out a scream of rage, he spread his arms out...before falling asleep.

Giovanni scoffed. "Really? Passing out? That's the last resort attack? What a loser."

"It had better not be another trick. I'm getting sick of those last-minute epithet powers. On the wrong side, that is." Barricade turned to his compatriots.

"Welcome to every Mundie's annoyance." Molly sighed.

"NO! We are NOT underestimating him!" Ravage yelled before getting ready to pounce. "I'm going in! Gonna break the jerk's stupid neck before-OW!" He fell down when his back once again failed him. "Good grief...let's try that a-GACK!" His neck was suddenly grabbed by a large beefy orange hand. Rising from the ground was Sylvie's ultimate dream form...Dr. Beefton.

"Dr. Beefton may not have a degree in mechanics, but he DOES have a phD in PAIN and SUFFERING!" He bellowed before throwing him at Barricade, knocking him to the ground.

"Ow...at least he didn't try and rip me in half..." The minicon said before his optic closed, too tired to continue.

While Barricade was groggy from that, he managed to get up after a few minutes, only to see the sudden minotaur (who comes up with these abilities, was definitely running through his processor) ram into Molly and send her flying into the air before falling down. "Bear Trap!" He turned to Beefton before barreling towards him and grappling with his fists. Despite his damaged state, he was able to hold his own. "I've just about had enough of this BULLSCRAP!"

"Giovanni assist!" The angered pink-haired one began to smack his bat against the minotaur's torso before remembering Molly's advice, grabbing some flashlights from the gift-shop portion and shining them at the torso. However, he couldn't get a clear shot at Sylvie's eyes. "C'mon, Barricade! Move a little!"

"Too...busy...trying to actually...fight him!" The Decepticon grunted, his feet digging into the ground before Beefton let out a roar of fury and thrust his head forward, impaling Barricade's shoulder on the horns and flinging him over. "Augh...don't you have something USEFUL again?!"

"Barricade! We have to wake Sylvie up! That thing is his dream come true! Literally! If we wake him up..." Molly pointed out. Sure enough, the Decepticon peered enough to see the outline of the floating boy.

Despite the usual Decepticon strategy to be to just punch and shoot until everything was dead, that gave him an idea. "Wake him up...oh...I'll wake this entire city if I have to!" He roared before slamming a foot down and lowering his back. "Cover your audio receptors, everybody..."

"Hurry! What he's doing is so cool, but NOT-COOL in the way he's-OW! UGH! AH! MY KIDNEY!" Giovanni was getting at the receiving end of being clubbed by the two bear statues by Beefton.

"Hah! What could a broken pile of scrap do against ME?!" Beefton yelled before Barricade just narrowed his optics and blared out his police sirens. "GAH! That noise! Turn that OFF!"

Even Ravage and Giovanni were holding their ears in response to that, but that didn't stop Beefton from charging and pinning Barrricade to a wall. "GRRGH!" He growled before slamming his fists onto the minotaur's head. All that did was drive Beefton into an even bigger berserk fury. The sounds of fists against metal and metal against dream-flesh echoed, as well as the siren, but Molly had decided to even the odds...or just stack them further in our heroes' favor.

For a fire alarm went on, ringing with a sound that would drill into even the most resolute of brains. "Sorry. I had to see what I could do. Normally, I wouldn't turn on the alarm if there was no fire hazard...but I'm a Decepticon now. So, it's okay!" Molly beamed.

Ravage swore he felt his spark skip a beat when he saw that smile again, but he kept his audio receptors low, for fear of going insane from this double cavalcade of noise. "NOOOOO! CURSE YOU, AUDITORY WAKE-UP STRATEGIEEES!" Beefton cursed before reverting back to a groggy Sylvie.

Barricade slumped over a bit from that audio assault, but he gave a small chuckle. "Nice work, Bear Trap. Good improvising. We need more of that. And you, Meat Shield. You did good. Very good. There's promise in both of you after all."

"Don't call me...whatever. Thanks, anyway. I'm just that awesome." Giovanni stated, matter of fact. "Still gonna be boss one day! Wink, wink!"

Ravage, shaking his head and limping slightly, walked over to Sylvie, whom realized he had a very VERY angry robot jaguar staring him down with one optic. "Oh...what we're gonna do to YOU..." From his mouth drooled many smaller robots...he was about to unleash the dreaded Reedman and enjoy it...

"EURGH! No more surprises, please!" Giovanni bleched. "Just end the chapter here! Move on next time!"

"Or next month, given how this author updates." Barricade said sardonically.

"Who said you could break the fourth wall too?!"

_**"..."** _

_**Optimus Prime**_

_**Epithet: None (Transforms into a Truck)**_

_*** Leader of the Autobots**_

_*** A sizable body-count that puts Megatron's to shame.**_

_*** GIVE ME YOUR FACE!**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a while since I got to this, but that's just my whole fanfic career, eh?

**Author's Note:**

> Taking a break from my (thankfully) well-recieved fanfic, "Godzilla Goes to Hell...Again". Here's hoping for some feedback for this crossover. Trust me. Things quickly spiral even further out of the canon from here. Feedback and kudos'es welcome to keep this story going!


End file.
